


The Asset and Steve

by Introvertatheart



Series: The Asset's New Life [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, M/M, Seizures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-02-15 17:32:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18674266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Introvertatheart/pseuds/Introvertatheart
Summary: The second part of the Asset's new life. Steve learns how to deal with the asset's needs, good and bad.





	1. Chapter 1

The first night was as hard as Steve thought. The asset....Bucky was not very good with change. Almost every little thing frightened him; when Steve's phone rang, Bucky covered his ears. When the microwave beeped, he hid in a corner. Apparently Bucky had little to no desensitization when he was with Rumlow. He wasn't afraid of the TV and the bathtub, but everything else was a shock to him. 

During the first night, Bucky was pacing around for an hour. Steve tried to settle him down with some warm milk, but he wasn't paying attention to him. Steve got his pacifier, but he wasn't having it. Steve was about to call it quits when he remembered the plush lamb that Bucky suddenly threw down when he heard the microwave beep.

He got the plush lamb and put it in Bucky's arms. He finally settled down and let Steve put him in his old clothes. Two hours into their sleep, Steve felt Bucky shaking. He was worried about a seizure at first, but realized Bucky only wanted to snuggle. There were no further incidents that night.

The second day was a learning day for both of them. Steve wanted to learn about how Bucky functioned during the day and Bucky wanted to learn about everything in the house. Even the dangerous stuff. Steve had to constantly watch his back to make sure he didn't bite an electrical wire or he didn't stick his metal fingers in a socket.

Early morning, Steve was fixing toast and eggs for himself and apple juice for Bucky, who was laying on the couch watching Paw Patrol. Steve found out that Bucky was adamant about watch Paw Patrol in the morning. He changed the channel once and Bucky screamed at him. He didn't care if the show was on commercial break, he seriously did not want that channel changed until Paw Patrol was over.

Steve sat on the couch with his toast and eggs. He gave Bucky his juice and watched Paw Patrol. Bucky drank his juice but stared at Steve's food.

"I don't know if you can have this, Bucky. Did Rumlow give you eggs?"

"Yes." Steve cut a small piece of egg and gave it to him. Bucky, as usual, didn't chew it. And it scared Steve.

"You have teeth, Buck. You can chew." Bucky just looked at him then stared at the eggs again. Steve cut a smaller piece and gave it to him. Once again, he didn't chew. Steve decided that was enough, he would call a friend for some tips on reintroducing solid foods. 

Later in the morning, Steve read to Bucky to teach him new words. Bucky crawled in his lap and laid his head on his shoulder.

"The little boy plucked 3 apples from the apple tree and plopped them in his basket." Bucky pointed to the apple on the book and looked at Steve.

"That's an apple, Bucky. Do you like apples?" Bucky didn't answer, but Steve did feel his lap becoming warm quickly.

"Oh no. I guess everything just goes through you until we start solids. Get up, baby." Bucky got up, Steve was glad he was wearing a diaper. That would have been a mess. Steve was about to change him when he remembered.

"You need more diapers, how could I forget." Steve really didn't want to chance bringing Bucky out in public when he didn't know how he reacts around people. He was going to have to make a call. He took Bucky into his room and called Sam.

"Hey Sam, can you do me a huge favor?"

"As in?"

"I'll send you the list but I need them quickly."

"Alright, what's going on? You sound nervous."

"I'll explain once you get here." Steve hung up. He sighed and looked at Bucky, who was dangerously close to nipping at a wire.

"No, no, no. You do not touch that. How about we start learning rules? There is a game called good touch, bad touch. I'm going to stick a green sticky note on everything you can touch by yourself. Yellow sticky note you ask for permission first. Anything with a red sticky note you do not touch at all. Understand?" Bucky just stared at him again. So Steve demonstrated. He put a red sticky note on the electrical wires and sockets.

"Okay these things with a red sticky note, you do not touch with hands or mouth or any other parts of your body. Make sense?"

"Yes daddy." Said Bucky. Something told Steve that Bucky was going to end up trying to touch something he wasn't supposed to and learn the consequences. That was another thing that Steve was afraid of teaching him. Punishment without harm. How do you convince an abused man with a 2 year old mindset that he wasn't going to be beaten for anything he did wrong?

Then the doorbell rang. Bucky covered his ears.

"You're okay. It's just Sam. Stay here." Bucky tilted his head like a confused dog. Steve closed the bedroom and went to the front door.

"Hey Sam."

"Adult diapers, pacifiers, and sippy cups you got some serious explaining to do." Said Sam. Steve let him in.

"Give me 5 minutes and I'll show you." Steve took the bag from him and went in his room. Sam sighed and sat on the couch. Something felt off about the entire situation. Sam heard the door open, he prepared himself for what he was going to see but what he did see nothing could prepare him for.

The winter soldier hand in hand with Steve. Thumb in mouth staring at him. Sam was speechless.

"Okay, Bucky, does he look familiar at all?"

"Bird."

"Yeah, Bucky this is Sam. You'll be seeing him around a lot." Sam was still in shock.

"When did he get here?"

"Yesterday afternoon, Rumlow brought him. Sam, he's like mentally 2 years old. He's in diapers, he doesn't eat solid foods properly, and he can barely talk. I need help." Steve sat Bucky on the couch and turned on the TV to SpongeBob.

"Yeah he need professional help. He needs to be in someone's hospital."

"They won't treat him right. They'll see the winter soldier before they actually see his needs. I can't risk him hurting himself or anyone because he's scared of everything." 

"And because you can take a super soldier punch right? Fine, I'll contribute. What's his schedule?"

"Schedule? Haven't had enough time to establish one. Kind of been going off what he wants to do."

"Okay, I assume he ate this morning or drank?"

"He drinks apple juice. I gave him a piece of egg and he doesn't chew it."

"Most likely they were giving him nutrients through IV. So this week, we'll introduce protein shakes and fruit smoothies. Because for someone who is supposed to be like 200 plus pounds of muscle. He looks like you back in the 1920's."

"Okay."

"Now what do he do after feeding?"

"Well I read to him then he needed a change then that was as far as we got today."

"Okay, since it is only 11 in the morning by now he should be napping. But we can start that tomorrow. Reading is also good, he needs to read. Anything else you need help on."

"Discipline."

"Talking, no yelling. Depending on the severity, put him in that corner where he cannot see the TV. No restraints, if he wants to get up when he's not allowed, increase his time out or take TV time away." 

"That's helpful, thank you."

"Just give me a call if you need help. I'm great with kids, psycho assassins not so much. Bye Bucky." Sam left. Steve sighed and looked at Bucky. He was very into SpongeBob, he probably forgot Sam was in the room. 

"Hey Bucky, you wanna play a game?" Bucky looked at him, Steve turned off the TV and got the red, yellow and green sticky notes.

"We are going to play touch or no touch. I want you to go around the living room and put a red, yellow or green sticky note on where you think you can touch items. Like this plug gets a red sticky, so you don't touch." Steve put a red sticky note on the electrical socket. Bucky got a green sticky and put it on Steve.

"Yes you can touch me." Bucky took a breath and touched Steve's private part. Steve grabbed his hand, Bucky froze.

"Daddy yes touch."

"No, baby no that kind of touch. I meant like a snuggle touch. Did Rumlow do that to you?"

"No, other daddy."

"Who?" Bucky got quiet, he looked at the red sticky note and gave it to Steve. Steve sighed and got his hand.

"Did your other daddy before Rumlow make you do that stuff?"

"Good boy gets treats after missions." That sentence made Steve nauseous. Everything Hydra did to him made more sense now. Steve would have a talk with Rumlow tomorrow morning.

"Okay, let's finish our game. This yellow sticky goes on the window. So you ask for permission to open and close that window. Now this red sticky goes on the door, do not open it. We'll do more tomorrow. How about we make lunch and get ready for bathtime?" Said Steve. Bucky was asleep. Steve would've taken him off the floor, but he looked very comfortable in his little ball. Steve got a pillow and put it under his head. He got his blanket and put it over him.

"I don't know what they did to you, but I'll kill anyone who attempts to hurt you."

Bucky slept for almost four hours. Steve was impressed that he made it to 3 p.m in a deep sleep. Steve asked him if he was hungry, but he watched SpongeBob for the next two hours.

Around six is when Steve decided Bucky's muscle was probably very tensed up due to him being in a tight ball for five plus hours.

"Okay, buddy, get up. Let's go eat." Bucky got up quickly. Steve looked at him, he wasn't tense or anything.

"Daddy, hurt." Said Bucky.

"What hurts?" Bucky points to his head and stomach.

"They're probably hurting because you're hungry. Let's go eat." Steve carried Bucky to the kitchen and sat him at the table. He got a yogurt cup and poured apple juice in his cup.

"Alright, buddy open." Bucky opened his mouth and ate the yogurt. More of it was slipping out of his mouth than out going down and onto his clothes. Steve got a towel and wiped his face.

"Alright we need to add bibs on the list. Let's go wash up." Steve got his hand and took him to the bathroom. He sat Bucky on the toilet lid. 

"Stay."  Steve got fresh clothes for him. When he got back, he saw that Bucky was in the tub playing with faucet knob, water dripping. He didn't seem to care that he was getting wet. 

"You could've at least take your clothes off." Steve turned the water off, much to Bucky's distress. He got his clothes off and got the diaper off. Bucky didn't notice then suddenly froze. 

"Bucky, hey." Steve touched his arm, he was very stiff. 

"Buck, hey look at me." Steve pushed his hair out of his face, his eyes were twitching. Steve realize it was a seizure, though not severe. Bucky took a deep breath and looked at Steve.

"Daddy."

"Welcome back, you had a little seizure there, you okay?"

"Owie."

"What hurt you?" He pointed to his head. A headache, he hoped. Steve bathed him and dried him off. He put the diaper on, he turned his back to him for a minute then saw that Bucky was almost asleep.

"Oh no. Baby stay awake."

"Hurts."

"I know, let's get you dressed, so you can lay down." Steve put on his pj's and carried him to the bed. Bucky didn't even care for the TV this time and Steve was worried.

"I'll go fix your juice, okay? Stay awake." Steve left the bedroom, he fixed Bucky's juice and called Sam.

"What's up man?"

"I think Bucky has a headache. He had a small seizure earlier."

"Yikes. You probably don't have liquid Tylenol, do you?"

"I actually do."

"Great, give him a cap full. I can already tell he'll reject it once he taste it. So mix it in with his juice. It should stop his head from hurting, the seizure part is what concerns me. Was he shaking?"

"No he was just stiff and his eyes were twitching."

"You might want to bring him to Bruce tomorrow. Those can get worse, if not treated."

"I'll definitely do that tomorrow, thank you." He hung up, Steve got the medicine and his juice. He went in his room, Bucky had his thumb in his mouth and shaking.

"Baby, is hurting that badly?" 

"Lamby gone." Steve set down the medicine and the cup and looked for the plush lamb. Lamby was hiding under the bed, again.

"Here you go. Now I have medicine for your head, it won't taste good but your head will feel better." He could tell Bucky was already nervous. He got the medicine and held it to Bucky's lips.

"Try baby, please." Bucky took a sip, he tried to spit it out, but it wouldn't come out.

"No."

"Okay, let's do this." Steve turned his back so Bucky wouldn't see. He mixed the medicine and juice together and gave it to him. Bucky grunted at the weird taste, but need for apple juice took over. Steve sighed in relief that he took to juice. Steve left him to his juice and fixed his own dinner.

When he finished, Bucky snuck his way onto Steve's chest. Steve noticed he really liked to have his scalp scratched, if Bucky was a cat he would have purred by now.

"How's your head?"

"Feel better." Said Bucky. 

Half an hour later, Bucky was asleep. His thumb found it's way into his mouth again. Steve watched Bucky sleep. He was definitely not the same person he fought in the Potomac, but he was a more broken form of the winter soldier and Bucky. Steve wouldn't mind picking up the shattered pieces of his best friend, he just wished he knew how to handle the situation better. Bucky was going to have be reintroduced to everything and taught how to handle his emotions. It was a lot and Steve was going to toughen up and be there for Bucky.

"You're going to have to be patient with me, Bucky. This is new for me. But we're going to be okay, I promise."


	2. Chapter 2

That early morning, Steve woke to hearing whimpering. He looked at the clock, 8:59 a.m. It wasn't too early, but Bucky wasn't in bed. Steve immediately became afraid he was stuck somewhere having a seizure. He jumped out of bed and listened.

"Hey where are you?" The whimpering became louder. It sounded like it was from the living room. He went to the living room and saw Bucky staring at a pair of birds. A pair of pigeons had him whimpering.

"That's why you're crying? A pair of birds?"

"Touch."

"No you can't touch the birds. Let's go fix breakfast, baby." Bucky wouldn't move from the window. Steve sighed and let him be. He wasn't bothering them and frankly it was best if he knew how to admire wildlife from a distance. 

"Okay, we're going to try something a little different." It was a strawberry smoothie. Bucky wasn't too fond of this pink drink. Steve told him to try, he did. And he actually liked. Steve praised him and fixed his own food. Then the phone rang. Steve answered the phone, while Bucky drank his smoothie.

"Hey man, you've made it through day two?"

"Surprisingly, he is doing really well this morning. He's drinking a strawberry smoothie and he likes it."

"Good, he needs to expand his palate. I actually called because Fury has requested you bring him in."

"For what?"

"Rumlow keeps requesting to see him." 

"I can bring him in after he finishes eating and I change him. They don't think it's a little early to bring him around people?"

"Have to start somewhere, Steve. At least he's seeing someone familiar." 

"True. Give us an hour." Steve hung up, Bucky was finished with his smoothie and trying to get a small chunk of strawberry out. He got it out through the small slip and tried to swallow it.

"No, no spit that out. I should've cut that up a little more. Don't swallow it, please chew it." Bucky didn't know how to chew it, Steve cut the strawberry into a tinier piece. Bucky swallowed two pieces before he started coughing it back up.

"I'm sorry, baby. That was my fault." Bucky suddenly looked sad, he really wanted that strawberry. 

"Okay, we're going to go somewhere in a few minutes, so let's get dressed please." Bucky tilted his head again, but he did lift his arms.

"You're becoming spoiled, your legs work fine." That didn't stop him from wanting to be carried. Steve picked him up, eventually Bucky was going to gain all the muscle he lost. And Steve really didn't want to carry him unless necessary.

Steve carried him to their room and changed him into a fresh diaper. Steve got a loose t-shirt and joggers and put it on him. 

"Alright, have you ever brushed your teeth with Rumlow?"

"Teeth." Apparently not. Steve brought him in the bathroom.

"Can I see your teeth?" Steve lifted his lips, many of his teeth were chipped. Some were very clear and about to fall out. 

"Okay, these look a little too sensitive for toothpaste, so let's do this." Steve wet a hand towel and wiped his teeth. Bucky really didn't know what he was doing, but he didn't like that it was hurting.

"Owie."

"I'm sorry, baby. It has to be done." Steve looked at the towel, it was a little bloody. He had some sort of gum disease. 

"Okay, let's get going." Steve packed a gym bag full of extra clothes and diapers and juice. Better than to be over prepared than nothing when dealing with him.

When Bucky saw that they had to get in the car, he froze up. He's been in a car before, but four other guys were in there with him and the two sitting beside him kept touching him.

"Come on baby, I promise it won't hurt you." Steve sat him in the passenger seat. He was surprisingly compliant with the seat belt. Steve took everything slowly to see if it would trigger him. He was fine. 

"Good job, Buck." Said Steve. Praise was good when Bucky was dealing with a new challenge. Steve turned the car on, Bucky wasn't afraid, which was good. He had some desensitization to cars. Bucky was amazed by all the passing buildings. Steve wouldn't bother him.

When they got to the tower, Bucky was very nervous about the tall building. It would've been the perfect place for an assassin, but the assassin next to Steve was more afraid of the building than anything.

They went in the building, Bucky wanted to touch everything. 

"Good morning, Captain Roger's, Sergeant Barnes." Said the voice above. Bucky flinched at the voice. Steve rubbed the back of his hand. 

"It's okay. His name is Jarvis."

"Where?" Bucky asked.

"He's not an actual person. Let's go see Sam." 

"Bird." 

"Captain Rogers, Director Fury has requested your and Sergeant Barnes appearance in the sub levels." Said Jarvis

"Alright, come on, pal." Steve led him through the floors, Bucky was whimpering like a dog the whole way down. Steve could tell he was nervous because of all the security guys around him. 

When they got to the sub floor, Bucky was starting to pull against him and showing his teeth. Steve sat him on the floor and gave him his juice. He looked around and saw a lot of people walking towards him.

"So this is the winter soldier? Hydra really did screw him over." Said the tall, dark-skinned man.

"Bucky, this is Nick Fury." Said Steve. Bucky froze his drinking and stared at him. Steve knew what that meant.

"Mission aborted, he's friendly, everyone is friendly until further notice." Said Steve. Bucky continued drinking his juice.

"You got a leash on your attack dog, I'm impressed. How is he doing?" Said Fury.

"He's learning. Everything is a bit of a shock to him, but he's adjusting nicely." Fury nodded. Then a red headed woman appeared. Bucky looked at her, then made grabby hands at her.

"Hey sweetheart, you being a good boy for Steve?" 

"Him Daddy."

"He is? That's nice of him." Said Nat. Steve was very confused on how Bucky was comfortable with her and how Nat knew about his mental state.

"To answer your questions, before I left the KGB. This guy's handlers came and dropped him off so he could fight with the graduates. The night before my fight, he came in my room and kept asking for daddy. He was crying. So I just snuggled him for awhile and he called me..."

"Momma." Said Bucky. Bucky got her hand and put it on his head. She scratched his ear and he smiled.

"Well at least he's comfortable around you. Where's Rumlow?" Asked Steve. 

"Down here. Let's go see someone, baby." Nat got his hand and he followed her, then he started whining. Steve really couldn't find out what the whining was about.

"He's nervous, Steve." Said Nat.

"He does that even when he wants something. I don't know what he wants."

"You're still learning, he has his own way of communicating, you'll figure it out. For now, he's just nervous." They walked past a few cells, a few walked away from the bars when they saw the soldier. Rumlow's cell was apparently the last one at end.

Then Bucky saw him.

"Daddy." Rumlow poked his head up and smiled.

"Hey kid, you look so good. Has he been taking good care of you?"

"Yes."

"Can he come in?" Fury unlocked the door, Bucky couldn't decide whether to let go of Nat's hand or go to Rumlow. He wanted both.

"Go in, sweetheart. I'll be right here." Said Nat. Bucky let her go and hugged Rumlow. 

"You really do look a lot better, I told you it was best for you." Bucky looked around and frowned.

"Home?"

"Yeah this is where I stay. I'm sorry if this looks familiar to you." It did look familiar to him and he didn't like it. Everyone could tell Bucky was becoming irritated and aggressive quickly. 

"Hey look at me," said Rumlow. Bucky growled at him. Nat came in slowly and rubbed the side of his face. Bucky slowly calmed down, but really wasn't focused on anyone. 

"I only wanted you here so I can make sure you're okay. Look at me." Said Rumlow. Bucky looked at him.

"Behave for him, you behave then you can continue to see me. I do not want to hear you misbehaving. Do you understand me?" Bucky nodded. He got his hand and put it on his stomach. Rumlow tickled his stomach, he laughed.

"Alright, time's up." Said Fury. Nat got Bucky's hand and he followed.

"Say goodbye to him." Said Nat. Bucky looked at her then at him. Leaving? Again? He didn't want to leave Rumlow again.

"Stay."

"No baby, go home with Steve. I love you." Said Rumlow. They closed the cell door. Bucky was once again confused and scared. He started crying which turned to screaming when Steve pulled him away.

"DADDY NO GO!" Yelled Bucky. They got him away from the cell. Bucky continued to become aggressive, he laid on the ground and kicked at Steve. He really looked like a child who was being separated from their parent on their first day of school.  

"Bucky stop it now." Said Steve. The screaming died down, the kicking and biting didn't. Bucky wasn't getting up or listening to anyone.

Steve grabbed his hand, Bucky immediately went for the bite and he bit Steve's hand. Nat immediately grabbed his chin and made him look at her in the eyes.

"Bucky Barnes you do not bite or kick at anyone who is trying to help you. This behavior is completely unacceptable, if you are upset about something, say it in polite voice and maybe we can fix it. Do you understand me?" Said Nat. The aggression completely left out of his body. 

"Yes momma." 

"Say sorry to daddy."

"Sowwy daddy." Steve told him it was okay and a doctor cleaned and wiped his hand.

"Let's go home, you're probably tired and hungry." Bucky lifted his arms, he was tired.

"Hey Steve, maybe start introducing time outs." Said Nat. Steve nodded, Bucky waved bye to her and Steve carried him to the car. It was peaceful ride back home.

Once they got home, Steve immediately fed, changed and put Bucky down for a nap. He went down with no problem, but today had took a lot out of him and it was only 2 in the afternoon. Steve had a lot to think about, Bucky really didn't like leaving Rumlow, he threw a whole fit because they were leaving. 

"He's probably never had an emotional attachment to anyone, so leaving Rumlow must be scaring him." Said Steve to himself. Bucky was having a hard time with all the adjustments and Steve was too.

"We seriously have to slow down." Steve got up and went to go check on Bucky. When he got to the room, he saw Bucky was shaking.

"Hey Bucky, you okay?" Steve sat by him, he saw that his eyes were rolling uncontrollably. It was a seizure. 

"You're alright, baby. Just breathe." Steve rubbed his twitching back. Bucky took a breath, but didn't look at Steve. Steve stroked his wet face, he was becoming worried. These seizures were becoming more frequent and violent. Finally the seizure stopped, Bucky lifted his head. He was drooling and still shaking.

"Hey baby, look at daddy please." Said Steve. Bucky looked at Steve, he was still dazed but it was getting better.

"You had another seizure baby. You might need a doctor soon. Do you want your smoothie?" Asked Steve. Bucky nodded. Steve carried him to the living area and laid him on the couch. Steve cut the strawberries smaller this time and put it in the blender. Steve put the drink in his cup and gave it to Bucky, he tried to grab it but his hand wasn't steady.

Steve held the cup for him while he drank. He was still trying to fall asleep, Steve had to keep shaking him. Then his phone rang it was Sam.

"Hey man, I just ran into Widow and she told what happened with Bucky when you guys were leaving Rumlow. You guys okay?"

"I'm fine, my hand is a little sore from the bite. But Bucky had a seizure a little while ago and I think they're getting worse."

"Why didn't you bring him to Bruce?"

"Sam, he was already stresssed from leaving Rumlow, I didn't want him to become more stressed with meeting Bruce."

"Alright fair point. But this may sound weird, but if he's claimed you as his daddy and Nat as his mom, then where is Rumlow fitting into it? You both can't be his daddy."

"I didn't think about that. I think I'm going to have to train him to call Rumlow a different name."  

"I suggest talking that over with Rumlow in private. Also that behavior he pulled, not cool. Time out are needed."

"Sam, right now a lot is just suddenly changing in his world and he's really trying to process all this. Time outs are honestly the one thing I can't force on him right now without him thinking it's Hydra. I'll talk to him." Steve hung up, Bucky was finished with his drink and staring at him.

"Sit on my lap, baby, we need to talk." Bucky crawled on his lap and looked at him.

"Two things; one, aggressive behavior like today, won't be tolerated again. If that happens when it's not necessary and I have told you to stop, you are going to sit in that corner nose in the wall for as long as I tell you. Understand?"

"Bad corner?"

"Yes, that your time out spot. Bad behavior gets you in that corner. You will sit there and not speak unless told to. Okay?" Bucky nodded, the corner didn't look that bad. Better than a beating.

"And two, I know a lot is changing and it's scaring you, like leaving Rumlow again. I'm adjusting just like you. And I know a lot of people are starting to come in to your life and you can't tell friend from foe. But work with me and I'll help you, I promise."

"What promise?"

"A promise is something you tell people that you are going to do, for the rest of your life. You hold a promise to your heart and don't break it. Like I promise to love you till the end of the line."

"Love daddy promise." Steve kissed his head and rubbed his stomach. Bucky laughed and yawned.

"Oh my, are you tired?"

"No, daddy tired."

"I am tired. How about a movie night?"

"What movie?"

"Let's see, actually, I want you to pick." Steve laid a choice of movies out. Bucky had no idea what to choose or how to choose. None of these looked as interesting as SpongeBob or Paw Patrol. There was one with two orange fish on the cover. Another had a bunch of dolls on it. Bucky pointed to the one with cowboy doll on the cover.

"Toy Story, I like that one." Steve inserted the disc and they watched Toy Story for the rest of the night. Bucky fell asleep halfway through the movie and Steve didn't bother to move him. They were both too comfortable on the couch.


	3. Chapter 3

Steve woke up first again that next morning. Bucky was surprisingly still asleep, but somehow got himself to lay on the floor. Steve stepped around him and went in the kitchen. He didn't fix Bucky's smoothie, in fear that the blender noise would wake him. But as he tried to maintain a quiet environment, his phone rang. Steve super-soldier leaped over the dining table and answered. He was quiet for a minute and looked at Bucky, who only lifted his head and laid back down. Steve sighed in relief and went in another room.

"Hello?"

"Did I interrupt something?" Asked Nat.

"No, Bucky's still asleep and I hate to wake him right now."

"How did he do after yesterday?"

"He was okay, he really is trying to process everything and it's happening too fast for him. So I want to slow down with him today, maybe just have him learn a few things."

"Good, I managed to get a few things out of Rumlow about him. He said he's worried about the seizures, so he wants him seen by a doctor soon. And he also told me that Bucky is still capable of becoming the soldier if given the chance. That's what's worrying me, Steve."

"I didn't think about the soldier. How am I supposed to tell an upset Bucky from the winter soldier?"

"Trust me, Steve. You will be able to tell difference between him and the soldier. Look at his eyes, they tell everything."

"He does stare at me a lot with a blank expression." 

"As in he wants something or a noticeable change?"

"When he wants something."

"That's Bucky. Once you've been caring for him longer, you'll see the change." Then Steve heard whimpering. He went in the living room and saw Bucky trying to turn on the TV.

"Daddy on." Bucky was getting irritated and to make things worse, SpongeBob nor Paw Patrol was on. Steve had to think of something. Then he remembered he was still on the phone.

"You want to talk to momma?" Bucky smiled but looked around, where was she? Steve laughed to himself and put the phone on speaker.

"Someone wants to talk to you, Nat." 

"Is it my baby boy?"

"Momma."

"Good morning Bucky, did you sleep good?"

"Yes." They talked while Steve fixed their food. Steve noticed that they were running low on strawberries. Steve didn't want to go the store because of Bucky was not being socialized properly, but he was going to have to bring him around people soon.

"Daddy, momma talk." Steve got the phone from him and talked to Natasha.

"Can you do me a favor, Nat? Can you get more strawberries for him?"

"I would but I have stuff to do in a little while, Steve you are going to have to socialize him quickly whether you or him like it or not."  

"I don't know how he's going to act around people and I'm afraid that he'll wonder off."

"Rumlow said he bought a harness for him." Steve looked through the bag that Rumlow left, sure enough there was a harness and a lead.

"He did say not to let him chew on the lead, but I think he'll be okay. I have to go, bye Steve. Bye baby boy." 

"Bye momma." Said Bucky. Steve looked at the harness and sighed. He hated the thought of leading Bucky through a store with a leash on, but he could not risk Bucky panicking and running away.

"Alright, babe. We have to go to the store, so let's get dressed." Bucky looked at him when he said store. Steve hoped he didn't have any trauma associated with the store. Steve changed him and put new clothes on him. Bucky got up when Steve left to get the brush for his hair. When he came back, Bucky was laying on his back on the floor sucking on his pacifier.

"I was wondering where that went, where did you find it?" He pointed under the bed.

"Oh yucky, spit it out." Bucky refused. 

"I'm just going to wash it, I'll give it right back."

"Mine." Said Bucky. Steve sighed and carried him to the bathroom. 

"Last chance, Buck, give it to me. I will give it back, I promise." Bucky looked at him. He said he would give it back but things that were taken from Bucky were never given back. But he trusted Steve to give the paci back. He spit the paci out into Steve's hand.

"Thank you, that was so good of you. Okay first we'll brush your teeth then brush your hair then we can go." Steve wet a towel and rubbed Bucky's teeth. Bucky really didn't like that whatever Steve was doing was hurting.

"Owie."

"I know it hurts, just a little longer." Bucky didn't want to wait, so he nipped Steve's finger.

"Hey, we do not bite. I'm sorry it hurts, nobody has been taking care you properly." Steve finished and brushed Bucky's hair that was surprisingly not as matted as he thought. 

Steve brought him in the living area and showed him the harness.

"I'm only putting this on you, so I don't lose you in the store, okay?" Bucky didn't care or pay attention. Steve put the harness on him and the lead. He didn't get any positive or negative reaction, so that was good. Steve packed extra clothes, juice cups and diaper when they started to leave, Bucky froze.

"What's wrong?" He started whimpering.

"Baby, use words, what's wrong?"

"Paci, promise?" Steve mentally slapped himself. He did promise him his paci back. Steve went in the bathroom and got his paci. 

"Sorry, baby. Here you go." Bucky took his paci. They walked to the car and left.

When they got to the supermarket, Bucky started to pull against him. There were a lot of people here. Steve had to coax him in, once in, Bucky was fearful of everything and everyone. Everyone looked at him funny.

"Daddy."

"It's okay, baby nothing will hurt you." Said Steve. He got a few bags of strawberries and blueberries. He got a few other fruits that the old Bucky loved. When they walked past the baby and toddler section, Bucky froze and pointed.

"Chase." He was pointing to the Paw Patrol toddler bookbag. 

"Bucky, we only came for food and clothes."

"Chase, mine." He tried to grab the bag. Steve got his hand and dragged him away. Bucky didn't like it and bit Steve's hand.

"Bucky, quit it. Now."

"Mine." Bucky tugged against the lead and cried. He wanted the bag, it had Chase and the gang on it. Steve was at a lost on what to do, Bucky wanted the bag but the way he was acting was not getting him nowhere plus, Steve really didn't want to stay in the store much longer.

"Bucky, we can't get the bag. Maybe next time." Bucky screamed at him and everyone looked at him. Steve was frozen for a minute, he dragged Bucky away from the children's section and sat him on the bench.

"James Buchanan Barnes, this is completely unacceptable. You are getting a time out when we get home." Bucky continued to cry and pull against the lead. Steve hated the fact that he couldn't get Bucky what he wanted, because it was probably the first time Bucky wanted something and couldn't get it. Steve checked out quickly and brought him in the car.

"Bucky listen...."

"NO DADDY OWIE!!" He screamed. Bucky was feeling too many things at once and his head was probably hurting. Steve turned on the car and brought him home.

Things continued to spiral down once they arrived home. Bucky was complaining his head was hurting and wouldn't stop crying. He kicked off his pants and tried to bit at Steve. Steve tried the timeout corner, but Bucky was not in the mood to listen.

"Bucky, hey, come here." Said Steve. Bucky sat on the floor even though Steve wanted him on the couch.

"I couldn't get you the bag because we didn't have the time or money. I know you love the bag but I couldn't get it. Also this behavior you've been displaying is not acceptable at all. You're complaining your head is hurting and it's because your crying a lot. Just calm down." Bucky's tears stopped for a minute. 

"Do you want medicine for your head?" 

"Owie." He pointed to his stomach and head. 

"I'll go get some medicine." Steve got up and went to the bathroom. He got the liquid Tylenol and sighed. Dealing with Bucky and his emotions was a lot more than what he thought it would be. Then he heard coughing and cups falling. He ran back in the living room, Bucky was having another seizure.

"Bucky, you're okay. I'm here." Steve watched him closely, this was different from his earlier seizures. He was shaking too much. His eyes still sat in his skull and he was wheezing more. After two minutes, Bucky wasn't calming down, he was getting worse. Steve got his phone and called Natasha.

"I need you here quickly, Bucky's having a seizure and it's bad."

"I'll bring Bruce." She hung up. Steve immediately thought of Bucky waking up from a seizure and seeing a new face. From what he can tell, Bucky is in the mood to bite and he really didn't want to think about Bucky biting Bruce's hand and turning green.

"You're going to be okay, I promise." Bucky stopped moving but wasn't waking up. 

"Please be okay."

Five minutes later, Bruce came and assessed Bucky. He confirmed something was wrong with Bucky's brain among other things. Bucky did wake up but wasn't focused on who was around him. 

"Juice." He whimpered.

"I'll fix his juice." Said Natasha. Steve changed Bucky into his pajamas and watched Bruce further analyze Bucky. The poor kid probably had more things going on than normal and going to the store didn't help at all. Nat returned with his juice and gave Bucky his drink.

"How is he, Bruce?" Asked Steve.

"Okay, I believe that the absence of the chair has taken its tool on him. I won't know exactly what's going on until I get a scan of his brain. But I'm pretty sure it's permanent brain damage."

"So he might stay regressed forever?" Asked Steve.

"Most likely, I wasn't here when you first got him, so I can't compare his past state to current. But he looks better and more importantly nourished."

"Can you look at his teeth? I'm not sure what to do." Bruce lifted Bucky's lips, he didn't like being touched at the moment so he bit whoever was touching him.

"Oh my gosh, Bruce are you okay?" 

"All good, I should have seen that coming. Most are correcting themselves in place, just keep doing what you're doing and we'll see about adding toothpaste. I'll see you guys later. Call me if the seizures get worse." Bruce left. Steve sighed and stroked Bucky's hair, the poor boy had too much going on. Steve carried him to bed and got him to sleep. When he got back in the living area, he collasped in the couch; Nat just looked at him.

"What happened today?"

"Took him to the store, he saw a Paw Patrol book bag for kids. I told him he couldn't have it and he threw a fit in the store. Got home and he was just breaking down."

"So he's stressed and overstimulated. I had a feeling he would be. Tomorrow is going to be his relaxation day, I brought some books so he could start reading." She gave him a collection of children's books. Bucky would love these.

"Why don't you guys move to the tower?" 

"Way too much stimulation. Tony and Thor would scare him to death." 

"True. Okay, depending on his mood tomorrow, start reading with him and try to stay home, so he can relax. I'll see you guys later." Nat left. Steve groaned and fixed himself dinner and ate in silence. Today was supposed to be their relaxation day and it ended up being a disaster. Then he heard crying.

"Daddy." Steve got up quickly and went in his room. Bucky was somewhat awake, but alert. Steve sat by him and cradled him.

"Sowwy daddy."

"Its okay, Buck. I know it's been a long and stressful day for you. We should be able to relax tomorrow. Behavior wise, that was completely unacceptable and you need a timeout, no questions asked. But tonight, just relax. I know this is a lot but let's slow down. So tomorrow, we'll do a lazy day and we can start reading. Sound good?" 

"Yes." 

"Get some rest. I love you Bucky."

"Love daddy." Said Bucky. Steve kissed his head, Bucky fell asleep. Steve sighed and thought to himself, Bucky needed to relax and he did too. Tomorrow was definitely going to be their relaxation day and also an introduction to the time out chair.


	4. Chapter 4

Early morning, Bucky woke up first. Steve was snoring, so he was going to be down for a while. Bucky got out of bed and went to the living area. He looked out the back window, there was no birds like yesterday. Instead there was water falling from the sky. Bucky stared at the sky, what was this? Bucky spent the next fifteen minutes staring at the sky.

"Bucky, where are you? Oh there you are, what are you doing?" Steve woke up and saw Bucky. Bucky pointed to the dark clouds.

"It's a rainy day, we can stay inside today."

"Sky cry."

"Yeah, I guess that's a way to see it. Let's go change you and eat breakfast, I want you to try something new." Steve lead Bucky to their bathroom and changed him. Steve brushed his teeth again. Steve thought he would be used to this by now, but Bucky still tossed his head around.

He was fine during the hair brushing. Then he groaned.

"Owie."

"Head still hurts?" Bucky nodded.

"Let's go eat then I'll get you something for your head. We're not going anywhere today." Steve brought him back to the living room. Steve fixed his strawberries smoothie and added blueberries. Bucky drank from his cup. Steve sat across from him and ate his eggs and toast. Bucky reached over the table and tried to get a piece of egg.

"Bucky, no. You ask nicely if you want something. Ask for a piece of egg."

"Egg, please?" 

"Good job. Here you go." Bucky swallowed it then frowned.

"Chase, please?" 

"Paw Patrol might be on."

"No, bag."

"The Paw Patrol bag, is that what you want?" Here they go again.

"Please?"

"No, baby we discussed this yesterday." Bucky didn't like that answer and kicked at Steve.

"Bucky, stop it now or you're getting a time out." Steve warned. Bucky was still upset about the bag and what other way to express his anger than to throw things. He threw his sippy cup at the wall, some of the contents came out of the cup and spilled on the wall. Steve was shocked, Bucky thought it was funny.

"That is it Bucky, I have tried to ease up on the punishments but this is getting out of hand. Come here." Steve got his hand and told him to sit on the floor, facing the wall. 

"You are not to get up or talk from that spot until your 10 minutes are over. Questions?"

"Chase?"

"No TV time during timeouts. Your 10 minutes start now, you do anything else, that's five more minutes on your time." Steve left Bucky. Bucky looked at the corner, this wasn't fun and he didn't like not seeing Steve. Bucky whimpered and looked for Steve.

"Face the corner, Bucky." Bucky really didn't like this now, better than a beating yes; not seeing Steve, no. Bucky continued to whimper for five minutes, then the tears started. He really did NOT like being in this corner.

"Daddy." 

"Five minutes, Bucky. Stay quiet." Said Steve washing the dishes. Bucky started to become fidgety and nervous. This corner felt like his old cage that his other daddy before Rumlow had him in. Suddenly there was a bang. Bucky screamed and covered his ears.

"Okay, okay we can cut timeout short just this once. It was just thunder, baby, that was pretty close. You alright?" Asked Steve. Bucky crawled in his lap and put his thumb in his mouth.

"Timeouts aren't fun, are they?"

"No."

"Are we going to act up anymore?"

"No." That didn't sound truthful, Bucky was very prone to just changing his emotions and forgetting about the little things. Steve could tell this was the first of many timeouts for him. Steve turned on the TV and they watched Paw Patrol until there was a loud bang and it got dark.

"Oh for God's sake." Grumbled Steve. Bucky immediately became fearful.

"We're okay, baby. Let's go light some candles." Steve sat Bucky on the couch and got a stack of candles. He set a few around the living area, a few in the kitchen and a few in the bedroom. Bucky watched in fascination of the small flames lighting up the room.

"Alright, let's try reading. Let's read Max the bear and friends." Steve sat Bucky in his lap, Bucky tried to reach for his paci. But Steve tried to get him read.

"Do you know this word?" Bucky looked at the words, he didn't know.

"Max woke up, bright and early to greet the sun."

"Sun." Bucky pointed to the sun.

"Yes it is. Max was excited for today, he has a play date with friends; Bonnie Bunny and Daisy Deer."

"Bunny."

"Yeah, you like bunnies?" Bucky didn't answer, he probably didn't know that answer. Steve sighed and continued reading. When Steve finished, Bucky was almost asleep. But he was startled awake by the flashes of lightning and refused to sleep in the bedroom alone during the storm. Steve read a grown up book to himself while Bucky tried to get himself settled.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, baby?"

"Want Chase."

"Sorry, the power is out. So nothing will turn on. Are you bored?" Bucky nodded. Steve sat him on the floor and got another book.

"Okay this is an animal book, so you can start learning about all the animals." He opened the book, first animal to show was a dog.

"Can you say dog?"

"Doggy."

"Good job and this one is a cat."

"Kitty." Close enough. Bucky pointed to the next animal.

"Bunny." 

"Good job, this is a hamster." 

"Fluffy." 

"Yeah, they are." This had Steve thinking, what if Bucky could have a pet. Definitely not a dog or cat. Something like a fish or a hamster to start off with and teach him responsibility. But Bucky and Steve still had a lot to process before they bring another life in their hectic life. And Steve would dread the day he would have to explain the Rainbow Bridge to him.

"Daddy fishy." Bucky was just flipping through the book now. Steve would have to get him more books. He finished the book and started it over. He was interested enough to not notice the storm had lightened up and most of the power was starting to come on. Then the door bell went. He opened it to reveal Sam.

"Sam, what are you doing here?"

"Can't a man just stop by? Plus I called you three times, you didn't answer so I thought something happened, turns out you seem fine."

"Yeah we're fine." Steve let him in, Bucky pointed to him and said

"Bird."

"Hey kid. How has he been?"

"Fussy. Yesterday, we went to the store and he saw something he couldn't have and had a tantrum throughout the afternoon. Today he still asked for the same thing and when I told no, he threw his sippy cup at me so I introduced timeouts."

"I can honestly say I am proud of both of you. You put him in timeout and he learned how to express his emotions. Not that I encourage him throwing items at you, but it's good he can feel frustration."

"Yeah, I guess I should be happy. I just couldn't get what he wanted and he got upset and it threw him in a seizure."

"Ah stress induced seizure. Many people that come into the VA have those. Did Bruce come by to check him out?"

"He won't know until he gets a scan of his brain and he bit Bruce."

"And Hulk didn't make a grand entrance?"

"No, I think Hulk could tell it was a distress bite. Look I need a favor, can you watch him for a few hours?"

"Excuse me? Watch him? Steve speak English."

"Just a few hours while I go talk to Rumlow."

"Steve he barely knows me. Like I said before, I can deal with kids better than unstable assassin. There are way too things that could wrong because you're not here. I could go get the information for you."

"I need to talk to him personally. He should be ready for a nap soon." Steve took Bucky in their room and changed him, he brought him back in the living room and gave him his strawberry smoothie.

"Baby listen to me, I need to go out for a while so Sam is going to watch over you. I want you be on your best behavior. Do everything that he says." Bucky looked at Steve then to Sam then back to Steve.

"Him daddy?"

"No, baby. He's, uh, uncle Sam. I promise I will be back before you wake up from your nap." Steve could already see Bucky's eyes become glossy. This wasn't going end well. Steve explained everything to Sam and put Bucky down for a nap. Unfortunately, it was at that time Bucky didn't want to sleep alone and cried when Steve closed the door.

"I can already tell he's going to come out of that room and try to find me. So once he does, let him watch Paw Patrol or a movie."

"What can I expect behavior wise?"

"Crying and possible flying objects. Try not to touch him unless you can take a few bites. That's his timeout corner." Steve pointed to the corner. Sam sighed and sat on the couch and listened to the crying.

"Call me if he gets too fussy or has a seizure. Actually call Bruce then call me. I'll see you later." Steve left. He knew this was sudden, but it had to happen. Eventually, Steve was going to be on a mission and Bucky was going to be in the care of someone else. 

Steve made it to the tower and went to the sub levels. 

"Where's the soldier?" Asked Fury.

"At home with Sam, both probably having a fit right now."

"I can imagine. You hear to talk to Rumlow?"

"Yeah." Fury lead him to Rumlow's cell. 

"You have a visitor, Brock." Said Fury. Rumlow looked up from his pillow and saw Steve. He immediately became concerned when he didn't see Bucky.

"Where is he? Is he okay?" Asked Rumlow worried.

"He's fine, probably having a fit, but fine. I want to talk to you about him." Fury opened the cell door, Steve went in and closed the door behind him.

"What do you want to know?"

"Who had him before you?"

"A bunch of people."

"Who did he call daddy?"

"Pierce. Most likely the one who triggered him to be sexual."

"Oh my God. Okay, now since he used to call you daddy and he calls me that now, his name for you has to change."

"I figured that would happen, I'll be his step-dad."

"That's fine. Now let's talk about his triggers and past. What triggers him into the soldier?"

"Commands. Authoritative voice. Anything you want him to do, he'll do it. That winter soldier mentality flips quickly."

"I'll try to correct that once he gets a brain scan. Now his past. The abuse he suffered while in Hydra's hell; what was used on him?"

"Anything they could get their hands on; stun batons, knives, high pressure hoses. Sometimes they threw him out in the freezing cold or scorching hot just because he didn't respond in time. I've seen them smash his fingers because he bit at the mechanics who were tending to his arm."

"If he regressed when it wasn't necessary, what happened?"

"From what I've heard, beaten half to death and starved. Nothing good ever came out his regressed state, especially with Pierce using him as a sex toy. He never knew right from wrong. I never showed any emotion towards him until I heard him screaming during the mind wiping and that was after he said he remembered you."

"What?"

"He remembered you, Pierce didn't want him setting plans back since he already failed to kill you and Widow because he remembered a fragment of a memory. So he ordered that he be wiped and they start over. I can't get those screams out of my head."

"How often was the machine used?"

"Whenever he came out of cryo. Or whenever he misbehaved. I honestly won't be surprised if he stays in that state forever."

"He won't." They talked for a few more hours until Steve was becoming nervous that his phone hasn't buzzed or ringed. Everything was either perfectly calm or in utter chaos. Steve hoped for the first option. 

He got in his car and made his way back to apartment. When he got to his door, it was oddly quiet. He could hear one of the Paw Patrol's characters talking, but that was it. He opened the door and couldn't stop the smile on face.

Bucky was asleep on Sam's lap. Everything seemed to be in place, he did notice there was a coloring book on the floor. But that was it.

"Told you I was great with kids." 

"Apparently, how did you get him to sleep and keep the place clean?" Steve whispered.

"I have my ways to wear out people, how did it go with Rumlow?"

"Learned a few things that could either speed up or slow down his recovery. Until the brain scan, I don't want to push him too hard." Sam nodded and yawned. Steve picked up Bucky so he could get up.

"You changed him?"

"I did and gave him a bath. I think we've come to trust each other. I would do this again with a little more warning before 'surprise take care of my disabled man-child' take off."

"Thanks Sam. See you later." Sam left. Steve turned off the TV and carried Bucky to their room, where he woke up.

"Daddy."

"You did really well for Sam, you get a treat tomorrow. Rest baby." Steve kissed his head and let him sleep. Steve smiled at Bucky, if Rumlow was right and Bucky did remember him after their battle on the highway then once he gets proper care for the brain damage, Bucky might be able to act like his old self. Steve nearly cried but all he could do is smile while going to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys want a small The Asset and The Falcon chapter in a different series about what happened between them, let me know. My free time is starting to open up.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. A lot of things came up, good news I graduated High school.🎓. And more stories are coming very shortly.

They actually were able to sleep in a little today, Bucky woke up with a headache again so Steve decided to put Paw Patrol on his tablet and bring him his smoothie in bed.

"How's your head baby?" Bucky groaned and leaned into Steve's hand which was stroking his head. Steve really didn't know what to do, he texted Nat earlier, but only said to give him medicine and watch him for seizures. Steve was worried about the seizures, every time Bucky complained of headaches a seizure would follow. This one seemed to be one of his bad ones, even the sirens from Paw Patrol made him flinch in pain.

"Bucky, honey, I think you need a doctor. You're starting to become warm." Said Steve feeling Bucky's head. He was warm and it was worrying him. Bucky groaned and laid on Steve's stomach. Steve sighed and texted Nat again. Two minutes later, she called.

"He's seriously not getting better?" She asked.

"No, he's barely touched his smoothie and won't talk."

"Bring him to the tower." She hung up. Steve lifted Bucky up a little, it was then that Bucky was becoming too painful to move. He cried when Steve laid him back on the bed. Steve left the room to get his pacifier, he came back to Bucky having a violent seizure.

"Baby, you're okay. Oh my God, uh, hold on Bucky. I'm here." Steve quickly called Nat again.

"Nat, he's seizing again and it's bad."

"Time the seizure, I'll send a medical team to you." She hung up, Steve focused on the seizing man in front of him. So far, he had two and a half minutes. It took everything in Steve not to hold Bucky in his arms and rush him with to the car. Then the doorbell rang. Steve didn't want to leave Bucky, but he had to open the door. He got up and quickly ran to the front door. He didn't bother to say hello to the two doctors and Nat.

"He's in my room, he's still seizing." He escorted them to the room. Bucky was still seizing but not as violent. Doctors quickly got an oxygen mask on him. Nat stroked Bucky's hair and watched him calm down. 

The seizure stopped just shy of five minutes, Bucky was dazed and became fussy. He was able to tell that there was way too many hands touching him. And he hated whatever was on his face. This felt too much like Hydra. He was only able to stay calm enough because he could smell Steve and tell Nat's touch from the doctors.

"He needs to go to the medical lab. Dr. Branner wants to see him, now." Said a female doctor. Steve nodded and carried Bucky to the medical van while Natasha brought Bucky's sippy cups and some books. 

When they got to the tower, Bucky started to shake more. He became more focused when he realized there was a sudden change. Bruce came and tried to take Bucky away. Bucky immediately went for a bite.

"Bucky, baby, you behave for this and I'll get you a present." Said Nat. Bucky groaned and sat in the wheelchair. Steve and Nat followed him to the lab. Steve picked Bucky up and laid him on the exam table. Bucky stared at the large machine, this was terrifying. 

"Okay, Bucky this is a CT machine and it's going to take pictures of your head. It will take at least five minutes, if you can corporate." Said Bruce.

"If he won't settle for this, then what?" Asked Steve.

"Sleep study, but I rather get this over with than wait for another seizure. See if you can get him to lay down, give the thumbs up when he's ready." Bruce left the room, Steve sighed and tried to coax Bucky to lay down.

"It's like a bed, baby. Lay down." Said Steve. Bucky shook his head no. Steve looked to Nat.

"Honey, I'm going to play Paw Patrol once you lay down." Bucky did lay down, but hearing the machine buzz frightened him. 

"Momma, scary."

"Okay let's try not seeing, only hearing." Nat laid a towel over his eyes and started his show. Steve quickly gave the thumbs up. The machine started. When Bucky felt himself move, he started to whine.

"We're still here baby." Steve put his hand on Bucky's leg. He calmed a little, but continued to shake. 

"Daddy scary." 

"Almost done, baby. Hold on." Bucky didn't want to wait and crawled out.

"We got enough to draw an image, Steve." Said Bruce over the intercom. Steve gave Bucky his paci and carried him to a room. Steve dressed him in a medical gown and let him watch his shows.

"Steve, if the scans show there is no possible way of recovery. What are you going to do?" Asked Nat.

"I'm hoping to avoid that situation, but if it comes to that, I will still love him more than anything. He'll still be my Bucky, just mentally disabled."

"True love, I get it. Now his trigger words?" Steve sighed at this. His trigger words was the one thing he wanted to avoid.

"I suppose there is no civil way to get rid of them. I think Bucky should be okay, if no one says those words."

"Just because the words are in Russian, doesn't mean that someone programed English words to activate him."

"Didn't think about that." Steve had a lot to think about. Whether or not Bucky would make a full recovery would also determine if he could continue to live with Steve. He looked at Bucky, who was still watching Paw Patrol.

"Bucky, come here baby." Bucky climbed on Steve's lap while still watching Paw Patrol. Steve took the tablet from him and paused it. Bucky did not like that. The expression on his face read Winter soldier. Natasha noticed and held his hands.

"Don't do that, look at me now." Bucky turned his gaze to her. His expression was becoming more tense.

"Bucky remember my surprise, you still have to behave." Bucky's expression changed and softened. That could have gotten worse in seconds. Before Steve could tell him what's on his mind, Dr. Banner came in.

"Hello Bucky, are we going to be nice today?" Said Bruce. Bucky didn't answer.

"What is he looking like?" Said Steve.

"Well you see this dark patches, they are because of the shocking, so they are not working. This isn't going to repair itself."

"What about the serum?"

"It can only do so much until it's abilities are maxed out. And I believe it is. Now I would like to have him stay the night, so I can do a sleep study. It will give me the opportunity to see the changes going through his head during certain time periods."

"I don't know if Bucky will let anyone touch him. Beside don't you think bringing him out of his normal surroundings for the night will scare him?" Said Steve.

"That's what I was thinking. So I got a chip that can be implanted in the base of his neck and it'll send brain activity to us. And it'll be like a sleep study." Said Bruce. At this point, it was their best option. Bruce left to get the supplies. Bucky eyed Bruce as he was leaving, something was about to happen. Doctors always left and came back with torture devices. Physically he could take a few punches, mentally he was very unstable. 

"Bucky, hey, look at daddy." Bucky looked at Steve.

"They're not going to hurt you, once we get this done. We can go get ice cream." Bucky tilted his head, what was ice cream? Bruce came back with some tools.

"Alright, if you can just hold him. This will only take a minute." Steve got Bucky on his lap and pinned his arms and legs. Bucky immediately became fearful and started to cry. Nat got his head and laid it on her chest.

"Alright Bucky just a small pinch." Steve pushed up Bucky's hair, when Bruce inserted the needle; Bucky screamed. His metal arm immediately became tense and fought against Steve's hold.

"DADDY HURTS." Yelled Bucky. Steve tried to hold him, but he was moving around too much. 

"I know baby, I'm sorry." 

"There might be a little burning sensation. It's not too bad." 

"He'll get over it, let's go home." Natasha offered them a ride home, once they reach the apartment Steve carried Bucky inside and laid him on the couch. 

"Okay, Bucky I know today was hard on you and you did well today. I'll give you your suprise when we finish talking. So that little pinch in your neck is going to help figure out what's causing the seizures and how to treat them and the headaches. If we can't treat the seizures, you might have to be taken away from me and placed in professional care." Bucky looked up at him, tears quickly formed in his blue eyes. Steve wiped them away. 

"There's still a good possibility that you can heal from it. If Bruce can develop a medication to help the seizures and headaches then you can stay. But we're all worried about you healing and regaining memories." The tears continued to flow. 

"Bucky, I love you. I truly do, but if there is a possibility you can regain your memories we have to take it." Bucky put his thumb in his mouth and looked up at Steve. He's had enough. He was tired and hungry. 

"I guess you want to see the suprise momma got you." Bucky nodded. Steve set him on the couch, he got the surprise from the bag that Natasha left with them. Bucky's face instantly brightened the room.

"Chase." Nat got him the Paw Patrol bag that he desperately wanted when they were at the store. Bucky hugged the bag and smiled.

"So next time you see momma, you say thank you. We can put your clothes and snacks in here whenever we go out." The problem was the book bag was made for toddlers. Toddlers who are small, not a 100 year old man. It was small and wasn't going to fit around his muscled back, so it was a matter of time before something ripped on the bag.

"Thanks daddy."

"No problem, how about we get you changed and ready for bed?" Bucky held onto the book bag as the went to the bathroom. Steve knew it was thing with kids where new things they got with their favorite characters had to be carried around the house and do everything they do. Until something broke or the parent took it away.

Bucky was no different. And Steve was going to have to teach him about the use for the book bag. 

Once they got to the bathroom, Steve put the book bag on the counter, so Bucky wouldn't reach for it. He wasn't happy about it.

After bath time and a change, Steve got Bucky in bed and hung the bookbag on the closet door. Once again, Bucky was not happy but he didn't argue.

"Daddy owie." He pointed to the back of his neck. Steve pulled up his hair, it was slightly red mainly because of him rubbing on it. 

"I can't really do anything about it, Buck. Sorry, but I can do this." Steve kissed the back of neck. Bucky laughed.

"Feel better?" Bucky nodded and cuddled into Steve. Steve prayed that his boy would be okay with everything going on. And that whatever Bruce would find in his brain could be managed. Not that he didn't love Bucky in his child mindset, he just missed the old Bucky. The one that cracked jokes and was worried about him 24/7.

Either way, Steve would love the man laying in his arms. Till the end of the line.


	6. Chapter 6

Bucky was surprisingly in a good mood when he woke up. He helped Steve cook eggs by stirring and dryed the plastic dishes. Steve would be happy if he didn't notice the occasional twitching from Bucky. It was only on his right side. It would start his leg and travel up to the face. It concerned Steve but didn't bother Bucky, not one bit. 

When breakfast was over, Bucky was flipping through his books about farm animals and Steve was flipping through channels. Everything was fine. Then the channel landed on a military network. That was the exact moment things took a turn for worse.

In the five seconds that the channel was on, a bomb went off and gun fire. Bucky lifted his head and became frozen, Steve immediately turned off the TV.

"Bucky, we're okay." Bucky didn't move. Steve feared that he just triggered the soldier. His shield was sitting by the door and his phone was sitting on the kitchen counter. Steve got up slowly and faced Bucky. He was met with dead eyes.

The winter soldier was staring at him. Steve didn't want to fight Bucky, but the soldier was going to. 

"Bucky, come back to daddy's voice. We're okay. It was just the TV." No response. The soldier's metal arm tensed, then he stood up. Steve slowly backed up. The soldier swung at Steve. Steve ducked and got his phone.

"Nat, I need help." He said pushing the soldier away.

"Seizure?"

"The soldier." Steve heard her cuss and hung up. He assumed she was on her way, till then he was dealing the murderous soldier. 

"Bucky please."

"The mission." The soldier swung at him again and this time it made contact with his face. Steve knew the soldier wasn't as strong as he used be like at the Potomac. But he still had enough strength to put Steve in the hospital. The soldier kicked and punched at Steve, the kick sent Steve into the wall. Steve shook it off and grabbed the soldier's arm.

"Come on baby, please." Then Nat came in. The soldier stared then growled. Nat threw a spider bite at his metal arm. The soldier went down and tried to get the thing off. Steve hit him in the back of the head. The soldier stopped for a moment.

"Bucky?" The soldier looked up with tears in his eyes.

"Daddy." Steve sighed in relief and hugged him. He was hoping to never encounter the soldier now they were both shaken up.

"What triggered him?" Asked Nat.

"I was flipping through the channels and it got to the military network, he heard a bomb and gun shots and it was over." Nat nodded and looked at Steve's bruises and the dents in the wall. If Bucky was that strong now, when he regained all the muscle back, they were going to need stronger methods of settling him down. Nat took off the spider bite and stroked his head. 

They sat in silence for a while. Bucky calmed down from his ordeal and fell asleep on the floor. Nat and Steve talked for a while. Then Nat's phone rang. 

"It's Bruce. You're on speaker Bruce."

"Okay, so I received some interesting brain wave activity. The activity is weird. Did he have a seizure?"

"No, the soldier made an appearance." 

"That explains why. So this is the soldiers brain activity. Okay, now that I know; I can figure something out. Until then, I was able to create an anticonvulsant strong enough for Bucky's metabolism to handle. I was also able to put some aspirin in it since his headaches do lead to seizures. I'll send over enough for two weeks to see if there is a positive impact, if there is none we'll try something different."

"Sounds like a reasonable plan. I'll swing by to pick up the medicine. Keep us updated, Bruce." Said Natasha.

"Same to you." Bruce hung up. Steve sighed and sat next to Bucky. He was smiling in his sleep. Usually when he was smiling in his sleep, he was either having a good dream or pretending to sleep.

"Bucky, are you really asleep?" Then he giggled. No he wasn't. He opened his eyes and pointed to Nat.

"Momma play?"

"Oh I would love to sweetheart, but momma has to run a few errands. Another time, honey." Nat kissed his head and left. Bucky looked at the door for a while then turned to Steve.

"How are you feeling?"

"Hungry, bored."

"Well I can get you some yogurt and maybe we can go outside today." Steve got up and got his yogurt cup. It was a nice day, a few clouds but nothing to worry about. Steve fed Bucky his yogurt. After deciding a walk in park would be good for him, Steve tried to get Bucky dressed and in his harness. He got him dressed, but the harness was suddenly becoming a problem.

"Bucky, come on, we've done this before."

"No."

"Baby, the park is big and its easy for you to get distracted or for someone to take you." Bucky seemed to give up and let Steve put the harness on. Steve got his Paw Patrol book bag and  put extra diapers and sweat pants in. Also some snacks too.

"Okay, you ready?"

"Blankie, paci come." 

"Paci can come, blankie can't come."

"Why?"

"Well we don't want to lose blankie or get it dirty, right?" Bucky nodded.

"So it's best if blankie stays home where it safe. I'll go get paci." Steve got paci and put it in the side pockets of his book bag. They decided to walk to the park since it was only a few blocks away. Bucky got distracted by all the signs so Steve was constantly gently tugging on the lead.

Once they got in the park, Steve could see he was becoming nervous. People were everywhere and kids were screaming. Typical for a park, not typical for Bucky. Steve sat him on a bench.

"I know this is a lot, but I am right here. This is why I wanted to put the harness on you, because I knew you would become nervous. Let's walk around for a few minutes." Bucky nodded. They walked around the park twice. Then Bucky pointed to a lady with a dog.

"Doggy." 

"I don't know if she'll let you pet her dog, we can ask." They went to the lady. Steve can already tell this woman was not on the friendly side.

"Excuse me, can he pet your dog?" Asked Steve. The lady turned around and tighten the leash on her poodle.

"No, she just got groomed and getting ready for a show." She was one of those dog owners.

"Doggy." Said Bucky. His flesh hand got close and the woman smacked his hand.

"Don't hit him. He's disabled."

"I don't care. I said no and unless you got hundreds of dollars to groom her again. I wouldn't touch." They left. Steve sighed, he looked at Bucky who was either about to cry or throw a fit.

"It's okay baby, I'm sorry she hit you that wasn't nice." Bucky nodded. They walked around again and found another lady with two dogs. This time Bucky didn't ask.

"Do you want to pet her dogs?" Bucky nodded but hid behind Steve.

"Excuse me, can he pet your dogs?"

"Of course." She said. Steve got Bucky to sit on the ground and pet the dogs on the back. And he smiled.

"See, nice doggys."

"Fluffy." He said petting the white fluffy dog. The brown and white dog kept trying to lick his face and lady had to hold him down.

"Is he disabled?" She asked.

"Yeah."

"I run an organization that put rescue dogs with disabled people. So basically service animals. That's what these guys are training for."

"Very kind offer, but he's a very complex person. This is him on a good day."

"So he has his days?"

"Yes."

"We are also a therapy group, Captain Rogers. And just so you know Shield already has contacted me about him. Your friend Sam is part of our organization. We talked about therapy and giving him a service animal."

"But has Sam mentioned that neither of us are ready to bring another life into our life? We don't have time to care for a dog. Or money."

"We would provide food and necessary treatment. Things such as walks, bathing time and playing with a dog can actually relax him."

"And what dog would be strong enough to handle his emotions and weight?"

"Any dog could handle their handler's emotion. Size wise: I would recommend a Labrador retriever, Golden retriever, or even a Great Dane."

"We need time to think about this."

"I understand. Here is my card and I'll let Sam know we talked."

"Thank you ...um?"

"Call me Ms. Oliva."

"Thank you. Say goodbye to the doggies Buck." Bucky pet both dogs one last time and got up. He waved bye to both and watched them leave.

"You seem more relaxed than usual. Did you like the dogs?" Bucky nodded and yawned. Steve looked at his phone. It was close to 6 in the afternoon. Bucky was ready for his dinner and his bath.

They walked back home. Steve noticed a small clear bag laying on the dining table. Steve took off Bucky's harness and looked at the bag. It was pills and a note.

"These are pills for the seizures and headaches. Two at dinner or before he sleeps for the night . Take with food. If any problems occur call immediately, Bruce. Ps. Possible side effects include nausea, mood swings and drowsiness. Alright sounds good." Steve looked at Bucky, he was laying on the floor chewing on his metal thumb. Steve got his hand and took it out of his mouth.

"Don't." Said Steve. Bucky just sucked on his thumb. Steve sighed and started to cook spaghetti and something else. Once finished, Steve sat Bucky in his chair and took off his shirt.

"Gonna try something new today. This is rice and eggs. I know you'll probably make a mess with rice so that's why your shirt is off. This is one of the few foods I'm going to allow you to use your hands." Bucky hesitated for a moment then lifted his flesh hand in the food. He got a small handful and put it in his mouth. It didn't go down easy causing him to choke.

"Try a smaller amount." Bucky got a pinch and put it in his mouth. This time without choking much. 

"Good, keep eating on that and drink your juice." 

"Daddy, what that?" He said pointing to Steve's plate that had spaghetti and meatballs.

"Spaghetti and meatballs, you can't have this. It'll hurt your tummy." Bucky stared at the circular meat for a minute before putting another piece of egg in his mouth. Steve could tell there was determination in his eyes, he was going to try a meatball. Steve ate the meatballs on his plate and was faced with a shocked Bucky.

"Sorry baby, can't have you getting any ideas." Bucky pouted and drank his juice. He didn't finish his eggs and rice but it was enough to settle his stomach. Steve got two small pills in his hand. How could he get Bucky these pills?

"Bucky, I want you to take these, please." He showed the pills to Bucky, who froze. He stared at the pills for a while then looked away.

"Baby, I can tell this is bringing up memories. But it won't bring you much pain. This will help with the headaches and the seizures." Bucky looked at Steve with sad, puppy eyes. But then he opened his mouth.

"Good job, Buck. Drink your juice with it." Bucky swallowed the pills and drank his juice. Steve opened his mouth to make sure he wasn't hiding it. Once he confirmed it went down, Steve took the waist belt off and let him sit on the couch while he finished his meal. 

Twenty minutes later, Bucky was squirming around a lot and holding his stomach. Steve was starting to worry that either the eggs and rice had messed up his stomach or the pills weren't settling. But if his stomach didn't like something, it usually came back up within minutes. This was twenty minutes after he finished his meal and his stomach was hurting. 

"Honey, how about we go to bed a little early?" said Steve. Bucky nodded, Steve got his hand and lead him to the bathroom. He left him on the toilet and got his pjs. When he got back in the bathroom, Bucky was fine. He wasn't holding his stomach anymore but he seemed confused and frightened about something.

"What happened?" Bucky didn't answer. Steve ran the bath and started to get him undressed. Then he smelled it.

"Oh baby, that's why your stomach was hurting." He made a mess.

"Sowwy."

"No, no it's okay. I'm actually happy you did that. It actually means you're body is starting to process solid foods. Just let me know next time." Bucky had a tiny smile. Steve quickly changed him and got him in the tub. While Bucky played with bubbles in the tub, Steve thought to himself. Bucky was starting to recover physically, mentally was a slow process. This was going to be a long week. Better to prepare Bucky now, then surprising him in the future. 

Steve dried him off and put his pjs on. They went to the bedroom, Bucky immediately got on his tablet. But Steve took it from him.

"Chase." He whined.

"I just need five minutes of your attention, then you can have Chase back." Bucky crossed his arms but laid his head on Steve's lap.

"You're starting to notice that your body is going through changes and it's okay to ask me what's going on. Just like tonight, your body was hurting because this was the first time it's had real solid food in a while. So it's going to hurt for a while when you continue to start solid foods. And the pills you took will help those seizures and headaches. So a lot is going to change for you and I don't want you to be scared to ask me what's going on, okay?"

"Kay, see doggy?"

"You want to see the doggies again?" He nodded. "Well Bucky, getting a doggy is a lot of work. They need a lot of care and love. While we can provide the love part, we can't really care for one. We have to walk it everyday at least twice, feed it at least twice,  play with it and bathe it and probably other things. We don't have time like that Bucky, my main focus is on you." Bucky seemed to frown at that, so Steve thought about another option.

"Okay how about we focus on getting you used to the new changes and we'll talk to Sam and momma about getting a doggy?" Bucky nodded. Steve kissed his head and gave him back his tablet. Steve didn't know about the whole dog situation, yes a dog could help alert with his mental and physical emergency but Bucky was highly unpredictable and still learning about things around him. Plus time and care was a issue. 

A lot was going on and Steve could only hope Bucky would be okay with everything starting to change. Steve's only priority was to make sure Bucky was comfortable and safe.  As for Bucky, watching Paw Patrol was his only priority.


	7. Chapter 7

Bucky wasn't in the best of moods today, it wasn't bad or cranky, he just wanted to snuggle with Steve all day. As much as Steve wanted to, they couldn't lay in bed all day. Steve could tell he was wet and hungry but Bucky refused to move. It was most likely the pills still taking effect. He was definitely moody today. 

"Bucky, can I at least change you?" Bucky only groaned and kicked off his blankie. Steve sighed and picked him up despite his kicking and biting. Steve managed to change him and set him on the couch. Steve really confirmed Bucky was in a mood when he refused to watch Paw Patrol. He refused his favorite show. He refused the TV at all.

Steve was at a lost. Then a door knock. Steve got up and answered it. It was Nat.

"Looks like I came at a good time."

"You did, he's in a mood today." Nat entered and sat in front of Bucky. Bucky looked at her, but noticed he didn't smile his usual childish smile.  

"Hey what's wrong?" She stroked his head, Bucky pulled away from her touch and put his thumb in his mouth. 

"Wow, well momma wanted to spend the day with you. And I heard Sam might want to see you." Bucky didn't react to anything. Nat touched the side of his face and noticed he was twitching and didn't react when she pinched his ear.

"Oh honey, Steve, he's having a seizure." Steve sat beside him and saw that he was twitching a lot.

"Probably why he was moody." They sat next to him. Steve sighed and thought. He didn't know Bucky was having a seizure, he was tensed up like the other seizures. He missed simple signs that could have helped Bucky instead he just mistaken it for another moody day.

"Don't beat yourself up, Steve. It's an atypical absence seizure, he'll be okay. Look he's already coming around." Bucky lifted his head and looked at Steve.

"Daddy hungry."

"I bet you are, how are you feeling?" 

"Chase." There was his Bucky. Steve got up and turned on the TV to Paw Patrol and fixed his smoothie. Bucky looked up and suddenly noticed Nat was there.

"Momma."

"Good morning, Bucky Bear. How about when you finish your breakfast we go see Sam and maybe some doggies?" Bucky sat up and smiled his childish smile. Nat took that as a yes. Steve handed him his smoothie and monitored his drinking. Once he finished and was properly dressed. He told Nat about his meal from last night. She seemed interested.

"Alright Bucky, let's go somewhere fun today." Steve put on Bucky's harness and put him in the car. The car ride wasn't long but Bucky didn't seem mind since he seemed to be interested everything again.

"Bucky do you remember the park?" 

"No." Steve looked to Nat who sighed. That was concerning, but not surprising. Bucky's memory had it's day. They arrived at the building. Steve got Bucky out the car and they entered the building. They were immediately met by a screaming man banging on the door.

"THEY'RE COMING! GET ME OUT!" He yelled. Two people in white came and took him away. Bucky shook his head and sat in a corner and covered his head. 

"We're okay, Bucky. He's just not well." 

"Hey guys, come this way." Said Sam. Steve picked Bucky up and brought him to the room where Sam was. Once in, Bucky's eyes landed on the toys and big white sheet in the middle of the room.

"Play?" He pointed to the toys.

"Yeah, come here." Said Sam. Steve set him on his feet, Sam got his hand and sat in front of the white sheet.

"This is like what we did when Steve left. It's just a bigger paper and more colors. You can draw what you want. Let me know when you're done." Bucky nodded and picked up the red crayon. Sam sighed and sat with Steve and Nat.

"So we're going to try and start therapy this week. Today I really want to see where his mind is and get him used to being here. My co-worker Ms. Oliva said she talked to you about getting him a dog." 

"Yeah and he asked about it last night. I don't know about getting one. Especially with new changes going around." 

"Changes?" Asked Nat.

"Well I fed him eggs and rice last night and he got scared when he had a bowel movement. And getting him on the pills is not going bad just an adjustment."

"Good progress. I'll tell Bruce about it. And also the dog situation can help detect seizures." Said Nat.

"I've heard but we don't have time."

"You know a dog might actually help not only Bucky, but you too." Said Sam.

"How?"

"Well it can help remind you to get Bucky his medication. And help wear him out. Plus I know you're concerned about the soldier but they can train the dog to sense a disturbance in his behavior." Sam had a point. Maybe this could work out.

"If it makes you feel better, they have test adoptions. You can keep the dog for two weeks and see how everything goes. If everything goes smoothly, it's up to you and Bucky whether you want to keep the dog." Steve thought. Maybe getting a dog won't be so bad. Then Bucky came. He got Steve's hand and showed him his picture. Steve got concerned.

"Hey Sam." Sam got up and looked at the picture.

"Can you describe it?"

"He hurt them." He pointed to the black scribble. 

"Okay, who is that?" Asked Sam. Bucky pointed to his head. It was the soldier hurting people. 

"Why is he hurting them? Did they do something wrong?" Then Bucky flinched and everyone noticed.

"Orders. Gather information from target. No witnesses." He flinched again and went to the toys in the corner. He got a bunny and played with its ear.

"So what that was the soldier doing a mission report. So from what I think and this is a theory: I think the soldier  is a voice in his head and whenever someone speaks commands or he hears something familiar, he comes out." Said Sam.

"So how does this affect Bucky?" Asked Steve. Sam shook his head and sighed.

"I don't know. Maybe he'll be a good voice or a bad voice in his head, I would prefer he see his therapist before making a conclusion." Said Sam. Then there was a knock.

"Come in." Ms. Oliva came in with another lady and a huge dog. 

"Hello, this is Dr. Nicole and this big girl is Harley. Dr. Nicole is going to be Bucky's therapist and Harley might become his service animal." Said Ms. Oliva. Dr. Nicole shook hands with Sam, Steve and Nat then laid eyes on Bucky who didn't notice anyone in the room.

"Hey Bucky." Said Steve. Bucky turned around and was surprised by the new arrivals. Dr. Nicole sat on the floor a few feet away from him, Bucky just stared.

"My name is Dr. Nicole, what are you playing with?"

"Bunny." He hid the bunny away from her, probably afraid she would take it away.

"I won't take your bunny. How are you feeling today?" Bucky didn't answer instead his attention went to the dog. Dr. Nicole told Ms. Oliva to bring the dog closer. 

"This is Harley and she's a great dane." Bucky wanted to pet her but hesitated.

"You can pet her." Bucky reached out his flesh hand and petted the harlequin coated dog. The dog looked at him and licked his hand.

"Tickles." The dog laid on his legs and put her head in his lap.

"What's going on?" Asked Steve.

"A grounding technique. She'll lay on his legs to prevent him from getting up before, during and after a seizure or help him with panic attacks. I assume he's becoming overwhelmed by everyone." Said Dr. Nicole. Steve sat by Bucky and looked at him. He looked more tired and irritated.

"I think it's someone's nap time." Said Steve. He helped Bucky stand up, but Bucky wouldn't move. 

"What's wrong?" Asked Steve. Bucky pointed to the dog.

"You want the dog to come with us?" He nodded.

"Not today, sweetheart. We'll come see Harley again soon." Bucky looked close to throwing a royal tantrum, Steve quickly took him from the room and sat him in the car and gave him his juice.

"Did you like the dog?" Bucky nodded and crossed his legs in the car. Then Nat and Sam came out.

"So Ms. Nicole wants to see him at least 3 times a week starting next week. If he has days where he is too fussy, she can do home therapy. But she really doesn't want him skipping out." Said Sam.

"Did anyone tell her that I'm not always going to be with him during therapy? Did anyone tell her that our days go by whether or not he's in a good mood? Does anyone care that he's still unpredictable?" Steve nearly yelled. Steve pinched his nose and sighed, everything seemed to be crumbling down. 

"Steve I understand that a lot is going on, but we spoke with her a lot this week about him and you. She can work around you guys schedule, as for you not being there, she thinks that if you want to leave him with someone he has a very good bond with." Said Sam. Steve looked at Bucky. He wasn't close with any of the avengers, mainly because he hasn't met them. And if he was on a mission, Sam and Natasha were probably going to be with him. That left someone's padded cell or Rumlow. Steve rather not do either, but if it came to him being with Rumlow while out on a mission then he would see to it that both were not in a cell.

"We'll discuss this later, I gotta him home." Steve secured Bucky in his harness and seat belt. They said their goodbyes and went home.

Once they arrived home, Bucky was on borrowed time. Nap time was supposed to be an hour ago, now almost two hours later, he was tired and fighting Steve. Steve fed him his yogurt and got him to nap. 

Steve fell asleep not long after putting Bucky down for his nap. They were at 5:48 pm now. Bucky usually needed an hour or two for a nap. And Steve wouldn't mind if he overslept.

When he woke up, he felt something was off. It was too quiet. He looked at the clock, half past 8. Bucky was either still asleep or watching paw patrol on his tablet. Steve got up and went to his room. Bucky was awake, but just laying on the bed, cuddled with his blankie, paci and the lost lamb.

"You alright?" Asked Steve.

"Lamby dirty." He said. The little plush was covered in dust and probably other things. 

"Okay, how about we send Lamby on an adventure and when she gets back, she'll be warm and clean by bed time?" Bucky hesitated but let go of the lamb. Steve quickly throw the lamb in the wash and went back to Bucky. 

"Wanna go fix dinner?" Bucky got his hand and went with him to the kitchen. Steve decided on chicken stir-fry for himself and chicken broth with rice and small chicken pieces for Bucky. Bucky, once again, stirred a pot of chicken broth. Steve made sure that the heat was low. Once he finished, Steve put a towel on Bucky's lap and let him eat with his hands again. More was coming out his mouth and he was drooling a lot. From what Bruce told him, it was a good sign his salivary glands were starting to work. Now getting him to chew and use utensils were going to be a lesson for another day. Once Bucky finished his meal, he stood up and sat on the couch. He didn't let Steve clean him off, so his chest was covered in rice and drool.

"Baby come on, you still need to take the pill." Steve was starting to notice that Bucky was developing a sense of rebellion. Which was good and all, but his rebellion mixing with his already unpredictable attitude was a recipe for disaster. So Steve through out his options. 

"Either you corporate or you spend a few minutes in the time out corner." Bucky looked at Steve and sat up. Steve wiped him down and got hom to swallow the pill. He carried him to the bathroom. He bathed him and changed him, but before they went to the bedroom, Bucky froze. Steve looked at him, his stomach growled then he groaned. Bucky looked at his stomach then at Steve.

"Oh Buck. Should have changed you a little later. Alright back on the change mat." Bucky laid down. Steve changed him quickly and got him to bed. Bucky got on his tablet and watched Paw Patrol. 

Steve looked at Bucky then his phone buzzed. A call from Nat.

"Hello?"

"I know you are having a tough time with everything, but we have your back Steve. And Bucky's. I think you should get the dog and also I did talk to Dr. Nicole after I dropped you guys off. She says she is willing to work around his schedule until she figures out where exactly his mind is. And she can work with you individually whenever you want to. Also Bruce wanted to know if his messes were just watery or had some solid. He also said he thinks that Bucky is probably going to stay regressed for his whole life. His memories might flash from time to time but the possibility of him being the Bucky you know is very low. Sorry Steve." Steve took a minute to process all that, Bucky wouldn't be the same either way. But Steve is more than willing to work with him.

"Okay, so these memory flashes, would it be like how the soldier is? Just shows up when something reminds him?"

"Pretty much. So what are you going to do?"

"I have a plan. Thank you Nat. And tell Bruce they are little solids." He hung up. He looked to Bucky who was struggling with sleep.

"Go to sleep, baby. What's wrong?" Said Steve.

"Lamby." Of course. He got up and got the plush from the dryer. When he got back, Bucky was asleep. He put the lamb in his arms and took the tablet away from him. Bucky snuggled with the lamb and Steve really couldn't stop the smile on his face. Bucky really didn't care about anything else in the world.


	8. Chapter 8

A few days later, things started to settle down. Bucky was somewhat calm during the day, he did start to back talk to Steve a lot which was funny considering his limited vocabulary. Sam called it the terrible two's. Steve didn't understand why that sounded so bad.

Once Steve did some research on the terrible two's, he could see why it was terrible. And he saw a lot of that behavior in Bucky. There was frequent uses of the word no and definitely more time outs. After learning a few tricks and a very stern talk, Bucky somewhat settled. 

Therapy was going as expected. Bucky rarely talked to Dr. Nicole. He drew on the white paper and played with the toys. Harley the dog often came when he started to become stressed. Bucky threw a tantrum when she had to leave the first time, over the next couple of therapy sessions he started to react less to the dog leaving. 

On a cool Friday morning, Bucky was scheduled for another therapy session. Steve got him fed and dressed. Because today was a little cool and Bucky's immune system wasn't exactly strong, he had on a long sleeve shirt. He didn't like that. 

"Bucky, stay still please?"

"No like, no like. Don't want." He didn't like the sleeved shirt and Steve could understand why. His metal arm was moving constantly under the shirt. So Steve thought of another option.

"Okay how about a short sleeve shirt and you wear your hoodie?" Bucky shrugged. Steve changed his shirt and put on his harness. They made it outside and got in the car. 

Unfortunately, Steve noticed that Bucky was starting to figure out the window and constantly played with it. Steve turned on the child locks. He didn't like that. Bucky often whined and kicked at Steve's seat. Steve resorted to just talking to him about anything. He listened and sometimes responded. 

Once they arrived at the building, Bucky immediately wanted to go inside. Steve held him by the harness while he got his book bag. They went inside and went in Bucky's therapy room. Bucky went for his toys and started to color. Steve just watched him until Dr. Nicole came in. 

When she came, she said hello to Steve and sat in front of Bucky.

"How are you today?" She asked.

"Good." He didn't make eye contact with her and that was something they were working on constantly. 

"Did we have any troubles this morning?"

"Daddy put long shirt on, don't like." His child vocabulary was one of the few things Steve really loved about him, while it was confusing, he loved it.

"Oh you didn't like the shirt he put on you? I could see why that would be a little frustrating. Well Bucky, I want to try something a little new. These five cards all have an image on it and they tell a story. I want you to put these images in order to tell the story." She laid out the five cards, Bucky looked at each card with a lot of concentration. He moved the cards around twice then went back to coloring.

"Can you tell me what story the cards are telling?"

"He's on mission."

"What mission do you think he's on?"

"Scout. Find vantage point and wait for further instructions." Bucky groaned and rubbed his head then resumed his coloring.

"Bucky, he's on his way to the castle. Like in a fairy tale." Bucky looked at the card with the castle, that didn't look like a castle to him.

"Not castle. Hidden bunker." 

"Okay and this guy who is he?" She pointed to the one character in the cards.

"A weapon." Dr. Nicole nodded. She took the cards away and put five others on the table.

"Can you make a story with these?" Bucky glanced at them, he moved two out of five then went to coloring.

"Bucky?"

"Destroy the evidence."

"He's building a campfire." She put the cards away when she noticed he was rubbing his head a lot. She left him to his coloring and went to Steve.

"So the basic images I showed him, he sees as Hydra missions. And I notice he shifts to soldier when he talks about it. Does he do that you?"

"It happens whenever he hear something on action movies. He just starts to talk about completing the mission or even speaks Russian. I try to distract him from it."

"Okay good. Now the dog situation. Are we a yes?" They've had this conversation during the therapy sessions. Steve got to spend time with Harley and he really liked her. He could already see the bond developing between her and Bucky. So that left Steve with one option.

"Yeah we'll take her." Bucky was going to be ecstatic when he finds out.

"We can go fill out the paperwork and bring her to you and we'll send you guys off with her bed, a couple bags of food and some toys."

"Thank you so much." Dr. Nicole shook his hand and left the room. Steve sat by him and held his metal arm.

"Hey, I got a surprise for you." Bucky stopped coloring and looked at Steve. Steve knew Bucky and Harley would probably stay side by side for the rest of their lives. 

"Daddy where Harley?"

"We'll see her in a minute. Get your bag and we're about to go."

"Daddy broken." The book bag strap was tearing at the seams. Bucky decided to pull on the strap from him when Steve told him to put it on the rack. Bucky was in a near meltdown. After a call to Nat, she said she would add bigger straps on the bag when she got back from her mission.

"I know momma will fix it when she gets back, be gentle with it for now." They left the therapy room and Bucky immediately saw Harley waiting for him. He went to the dog and petted her. While he was distracted, Dr. Nicole had Steve sign all the necessary paper work and had the assistants put all the dogs items in his car. Once he finished signing, he went to Bucky and Harley.

"Alright Bucky." Bucky knew what that meant. He got up and waved bye to Harley.

"Actually Buck, we're going to take Harley home." Steve saw the light sparkle in his eyes, Bucky hugged the dog.

"Okay now Bucky when you are out in public, you have to hold on to this so she can stay with you." Said Ms. Oliva. Bucky held the harness handle then pointed to his harness.

"I guess they're kind of similar. Bucky, I want you to repeat after me. I will love and care for Harley for as long as I live."

"I love and care Harley. Long as I live." Close enough. Steve brought the pair to the car. Steve was worried that Harley's size would take up the whole back seat and he would have to move Bucky to the front seat. But Bucky didn't care about the large dog laying half its body on his lap. 

Once they arrived home, Bucky helped Steve carry some of Harley's items in the apartment. Her main bed would be in the corner on Bucky's side of the bed, toys would be in a small chest that only Steve would have access to and food would be in a bin. Bucky and Harley immediately started to play when they got settled. And Steve couldn't be anymore happier to see him smile. Nap time wasn't easy today. Bucky kept wanting to play with Harley, so Steve took her out of the room until he learned how to sleep with her around. He was not happy. He cried for a while until he wore himself out and slept.

Steve spent the rest of Bucky's nap time making sure everything was in place for Harley and learning her training.

"So you can detect seizures, sense disturbances in his behavior and provide emotional comfort. Bucky's probably going to think that you're me in dog form." Harley looked at him, the dog was beautiful, Steve wouldn't deny that. But he did not expect that they would be keeping this big of a dog.

"So it says here that you are only two years old, wow Bucky is mentally two years old, maybe you guys can grow up together." The dog's floppy ears stood up, she walked to the bedroom door and sat in front of it. Steve got up and opened the door, Bucky was squirming a lot, Harley walked to Bucky's side of the bed and licked his hand. It was at that moment that Steve realized Bucky was actually having a seizure, he was about to intervene when he woke up.

"Daddy?"

"I'm here, Bucky. You had a seizure." Bucky groaned and clung onto Steve's shirt. They sat for a while, while he calmed down, then Harley started to whine. Bucky petted the dog, then she licked his hand again. Bucky frowned and showed his hand to Steve.

"Yeah, she's just making sure you're okay. Let's go wash you hands and let's go to the store." They were low on diapers, fruits, and other things. And Steve, honestly, found it a good opportunity to figure how to handle Bucky and Harley in public. 

"Doggy come?"

"Yes, Harley can come." Bucky smiled, Steve lead him to the bathroom and washed his hands free of the dog slobber. Steve got Bucky dressed in clothes and put on Harley's service vest. They got in the car.

Once they arrived at the store, many heads turned at the sight of the huge animal. It made Bucky uncomfortable to know that everyone's eyes were on him. He heard a lot of children screaming at their parents to let them touch the dog and many of adults just stopped and stared. Steve could only tell him that people were jealous that he had a dog as beautiful as Harley. They stopped to get some produce, when a worker came up to them.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. Dogs are not allowed in the store." What?

"She's a service animal, though."

"Both of you look perfectly fine to me."

"He's mentally unstable and suffers from seizures."

"Oh I hear that all the time. Sir, just leave." Is she serious right now? Steve had to remain calm because if he got aggressive, Bucky became aggressive.

"Look, I need to gather a few more things then we'll leave."

"Sir, go now." She was starting to yell. Steve started to notice Bucky flinching and Harley was whining.

"Hey, we're okay, look at me." Bucky glanced at him, Steve could tell he was starting to shift.

"I'm calling my manager, get out!" Now people were staring, Bucky sat on the ground and covered his head. Harley laid on his legs, this was exactly what she was trained for. A few citizens came over to talk to the lady and try to calm Bucky down. Steve had to tell them not to get too close because he was unpredictable. 

"Need help?" said a woman voice identified as Natasha. Steve nodded.

"I'll talk to her, get him in a quieter place." Steve nodded again and sat in front of Bucky.

"Hey let's go sit outside." Bucky's eyes were starting to show the dead look of the soldier and Steve really didn't want him to make an appearance here. Steve managed to stand him up and walk him outside to a more quite area. Steve could see that Bucky was starting to come around a little with the help of Harley, Dr. Nicole mentioned that getting him to list his favorite things could help him breakthrough the shifting.

"Bucky, can you tell me the names of dogs on your bag?" Steve held up his bag. Bucky stared at the sky then looked down at the bag. He tilted his head then pointed.

"Chase, Rubble, Marshall." 

"Good job and who is that?" He pointed to Harley.

"Harley."

"Good. How are you feeling?" 

"Mean lady." 

"Yeah, she was mean. I'm sorry she scared you." They stayed outside for a while, Bucky played with Harley until Nat and another man came out.

"Momma."

"Hey sweetheart, was that lady mean to my baby?"

"Yeah. This Harley."

"You got to keep Harley, I'm glad. So this is the manager."

"Yes, I am sorry for her, she used to work here and appears intoxicated. Police are on the way and will escort her out. Service dogs are welcomed here and you guys are welcomed back. And I will compensate for your items." said the manager. That was a nice thing to do.

"Oh thank you, I just need a few more things." They went back in and got the last things on the list. The manager compensated them for their items and they left.

Once back home, Steve noticed they were a little behind schedule due to the store incident. Harley needed to be walked before dinner time. 

"Okay, Buck, we're going to walk Harley around the block so she can have potty time." Steve gave him the leash, they went outside while Harley was doing her business, Steve noticed Bucky was more aware of his surroundings in the dark. The night was when the soldier was deployed the most, so it would be understandable that he was alert.

Once Harley was finished, they went back home and started dinner. Tonight's menu: Salmon with green beans for Steve and Salmon cuts with rice for Bucky. 

"Daddy, what Harley eat?" 

"Harley eats kibble." Steve got two scoops of Harley's kibble and put it in her bowl. Bucky looked at her, why was her food so different from theirs?

"Daddy Harley eat fish?"

"She can't have what we're having, don't feed her anything besides her kibble and treats. Eat your food." Bucky ate his fish when it came to the green beans, he refused.

"They're good for you. You want to be strong like daddy right?" Bucky nodded, he took one bite of the green beans, he didn't like it. But it was his first time, so good enough.

"Okay open." Steve got his pills, Bucky took the pills and drank his juice. He sat on the couch while Steve washed the dishes. Harley also finished her meal and sat in front of the couch. While watching TV, a commercial for the museum came on. Bucky became interested. Then they advertised the Captain America section.

"Daddy museum?"

"I am at the museum. Do you want to go tomorrow?" Bucky nodded. Steve carried him to the bathroom and bathed him. Once in bed, Harley laid in her bed, Bucky was confused.

"I already know what you're thinking, she has to lay in her own bed. She has to be comfortable in her space just like you." Bucky wasn't really satisfied with the answer but Steve could tell he was thinking about it. 

"Let's go to sleep, baby. Tomorrow will be a long day." Bucky cuddled him and fell asleep. Going to the museum was probably going to confuse Bucky more than anything. And Steve would be prepared to answer his questions, even of how he died.


	9. Chapter 9

Bucky was excited for today, Steve, not so much. While the museum was a fun place for new, young minds; someone with a mind like Bucky might find the place terrifying. Steve had many thoughts before waking Bucky up. Would showing Bucky his own memorial trigger good memories? Was he prepared to tell Bucky how he lost his life? And would Bucky be the same after learning everything?

Steve was brought out of his thoughts by feeling Bucky poke his chest. 

"Good morning, how did you sleep?"

"Saw daddy."

"You saw me?"

"No other daddy."

"Oh Rumlow?"

"Yeah, we see daddy please?" It has been a while since he's seen Rumlow, so that could be arranged. Also Steve had to tell him about the name change. 

"I think we can. Now Bucky, you call me daddy, but you also call Rumlow daddy. Can you change your name for Rumlow?" Bucky was confused.

"How about papa?" 

"Papa." He repeated. Steve knew it would take a minute for it to stick in his head. Then Harley started to whine.

"Alright let's get the day started, remember we can go to the museum today." Steve changed him and got him dressed. They walked Harley around the block then everyone ate their breakfast. They were about to leave when Harley started to whine. She pawed at Bucky's leg.

"Hey baby, sit down." Bucky sat on the floor. Harley laid across his legs, Steve tried to remember what she was trying to ground him for. Then Bucky started shaking. A seizure. Steve laid Bucky on his back, he was surprised that Harley wouldn't get off his legs. This seizure was the most violent one of the week. He was mostly tense and zoned out during the ones this week. Today seemed to be his bad ones. 

He relaxed after two minutes of seizing. But something was off. Bucky was growling.

"Hey Bucky, look at daddy." Bucky looked up at him, his eyes were dead. Steve saw that his metal arm was becoming tense, not good. Then Harley licked his cheek. Bucky stared at the dog then smiled.

"Doggy." 

"Bucky, look at me?"

"Daddy, doggy." 

"What's her name?" Bucky didn't say anything, Steve knew sometimes after the seizures Bucky would forget a few things. 

"Her name is Harley, she's your doggy." Steve could see something click in Bucky's head. He sat up and petted the dog. Steve let him relax a few more minutes before speaking to him again.

"You ready for the museum?" Bucky nodded. Steve put a hoodie on Bucky and a cap for himself. They stood up and went to the car.

Once they arrived at the museum, nobody bothered them about Harley. They were, however, confronted by tour guide who said he would love to give them a private tour. Not that Steve minded, it was just Bucky wasn't going to listen to anyone beside Steve. They explored the space areas, Bucky had a particular interest in. As they started to arrive towards the history area, Steve could feel his heart beating faster. But he reassured himself that he could handle it. But before they went in, Steve needed to prepare Bucky for what was coming.

"Hey come sit down." Steve sat Bucky on the bench. Bucky frowned and started to hit his head. Steve got his hand and looked at him.

"We're going to be okay. What's in there will probably scare you and it's okay for you to ask me questions. Are you alright?" Bucky paused for a minute then nodded. They got up and looked around the history area. 

"I hurt him." Said Bucky pointing to a video of JFK. Steve shushed him, but that concerned him. As they continued, Bucky would stop and point out random things that happen during some important moments in history such as the shootings of important ambassadors or politicians. Someone heard him and gave him a questioning look.

Then they arrived to the Captain America section. Bucky was tensing up quickly. 

"Daddy that you." Bucky said pointing to a picture of him in his first Captain America outfit.

"Yeah it is." They continue to through the exhibit. Somethings clicked to Bucky, others made him flinch. Then they reached the end of the exhibit where his and Bucky's memorial were. 

"Captain America and his howling commandos took on Hydra, the nazi rouge science organization." That was the start of his downfall. Bucky started to shake at the word Hydra.

"Best friends since childhood." Bucky's memorial. "Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers were inseparable on both school yard and battle field. Barnes is the only howling commando to give his life in service for his country." Steve sighed and looked at Bucky. He stared at the memorial and all the videos that played of him. 

"Bucky?" Bucky flinched at his name. Something was wrong.

"Let's go home." Bucky was very compliant leaving the museum, it was as if something broke in him and it was taking him a while to process all the information. Steve was starting to think maybe going to the museum wasn't such a good idea.

Arriving home, Bucky laid on his favorite spot on the floor and put his thumb in his mouth. Harley laid right next to him. Steve was at a loss on what to do.

"Bucky, I know that was a lot to process but you can ask me anything." Steve waited a minute, when Bucky didn't say or move he decided to warm some milk in Bucky's cup and set it next to him.

After two hours into the evening time, Steve saw Bucky move around a little more. He assumed Bucky must have had his nap during that time. He came up to Steve and hugged him.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"Scared and confused."

"Okay, let's sit down and talked about it." Steve carried him to the couch and sat him in his lap. 

"What's got you scared?"

"My head says bad things."

"What does it say?" Bucky's eye twitched then looked at Steve.

"Follow orders, be a good boy and daddy will give you treats." Bucky rubbed his head and leaned into Steve. 

"Okay, I think I understand what's going on now. What's confusing you?"

"I died?"

"Back in 1945, we had a mission to capture a bad guy on a train." Steve could feel him shiver at the word train. "When we got on, we took down a few other bad guys, I thought we were okay for a minute, but another bad guy with a big gun came and shot at us. You got my shield and tried to stop him, but he shot you through the side of the train. I managed to subdue him, I went to you to pull you back in train. But I wasn't quick enough." Steve stopped himself. He hated that day more than anything. The day he lost his best friend and the day Hydra gained a new weapon.

"Bucky, you died a hero and I'm so sorry that Hydra used you like that." Bucky groaned and looked at Steve.

"Daddy died too?"

"I supposedly died. I crashed a plane into the ocean to stop the bombs from hitting major cities." Then Bucky tilted his head.

"Daddy stupid."

"Hey, not nice. Any more questions?"

"Nope." Bucky slid off his lap and played with Harley. Steve was glad he was somewhat okay with everything,  but he realize something when Bucky called him stupid.

His Brooklyn accent came out. He started to sound like his old self more. Then Steve remembered his plan.

"Okay Bucky let's go take Harley for her walk." Bucky put on her harness, though in the wrong way. Steve fixed it and brought her outside. While they walked around, Steve got a phone call.

"Hey Sam, what's up?"

"I haven't heard from you in a while, so I thought I pop by your place, but you're not here." 

"Oh, we're just walking Harley around. We'll be there in a minute. You can stay for dinner, if you want."

"I wouldn't mind, I kind of miss the little Buckster."

"See you soon." He hung up. 

"Daddy, what that?" Said Bucky pointing to nothing in particular. Steve didn't see anything.

"What was it?"

"Light." Bucky pointed again. Sure enough a little light flashed. A firefly.

"They're called fireflies, bud. Maybe one day we can come out and watch them. Let's head back home. Someone wants to see you." They walked back home, Steve expected Sam to be standing outside but he wasn't. He opened the door and saw him sitting on the couch.

"How did you get in?"

"Who leaves their spare key under a brick?" Something Bucky would say. Bucky went to Sam and pointed.

"Bird."

"It's Sam, kid, but hello to you too. You look better every time I see you. I see you took Harley home."

"She help me." 

"Yeah. I'm glad you got her." Steve took off Bucky's harness and took off Harley's harness. Steve let them play, while he talked to Sam.

"So he is looking better. I'm glad, Bruce wants to see him to do a wellness check. Also Rumlow wants to see him, did you get that situation with the name figured out?"

"Yeah I told him to call him papa, whether he remembers is questionable but I'm not rushing him."

"Nice. I was watching a few kids whose parents were vets. And seeing their behavior compared to his is interesting. He really does act like a two year old. So my question is, does he mentally age?" 

"That is a good question. But I doubt he will. To be honest, I don't think he knows his birthday anymore."

"You thinking about throwing him a birthday party?"

"Not until his actual birthday, I don't want to throw him into something I know he won't be ready for. I.e: social interaction with you know who."

"I'm guessing you're referring to Tony and Thor. I can see the problems with Tony, but why Thor?"

"Fear. Try telling a two year old the God of thunder isn't a myth and see how he reacts." Steve cooked cream and mushroom with rice for Bucky and tacos for him and Sam. He also fixed Harley's dinner.

"Bucky, go wash your hands. Dinner's ready." Bucky got up and tried to figure out what that exactly meant. Steve lead him to the sink and tried to get him to wash his hands. He could with his flesh hand, his metal hand was iffy. Bucky sat at the table and ate his rice.

"He's doing good on solid foods, so that must mean.."

"Yeah, they're not all the way solid but it's something." Bucky ate his food but his head popped up every time he heard a crunch from the tacos. 

"Daddy what that?"

"It's a taco. You can't have this on your stomach yet." Bucky was curious, it sounded interesting. He looked over at Sam; his looked similar to daddy's, but it had more stuff in it. Bucky saw that something had fallen from Sam's taco, so he reached over but Steve grabbed his hand.

"Absolutely not. Sit down."

"Want."

"I have told you no, sit down and eat your rice."  

"Ah come on Steve, let him explore his options. Here, this is just a piece of beef." Said Sam. He held out a small piece of ground beef, Bucky put it in his mouth, he didn't expect the sudden spiciness.

"Hot."

"Drink your juice." Said Steve. Bucky drank his juice, but still wanted more.

"Sorry kiddo, don't want to mess up your stomach." Bucky pouted and took his juice with him to the couch.

"You know, if you let him gnaw on real solid foods he could have more food."

"Gnaw? Like toddlers when they're teething?"

"Exactly. Since his salivary glands are working, he can get the hard food soft enough so he won't bite or choke too bad. And I have just the thing to teach him. Come here, Bucky." Bucky got off the couch and sat in his chair.

"Have you ever had a cookie before?"

"No."

"Well they are one of my favorite desserts. So since you're not exactly chewing yet, I want you to put this in your mouth but do not swallow until it's soft." Sam broke a small piece of the sugar cookie and gave it to Bucky. Surprisingly, he knew what to do. He looked just like a toddler trying to chew on a cookie. 

"I'm proud of you, Bucky." Said Sam.

"Yeah and you're drooling more. Take your pills." Said Steve wiping his face. Unfortunately, Steve forgot to take off his shirt and his chest was soaked. Steve got him to take his pills, Bucky finished his cookie and sat back on the couch. 

"Well I don't want to overstay my welcome. I'll see you both tomorrow. Bye kiddo." Sam left. Steve let Bucky watch Paw Patrol for a few minutes while he washed dishes. When he finished, he saw that Bucky was drooling more and he was licking his mouth a lot.

"Something bothering you?" Bucky opened his mouth, a few cookie crumbs were stuck in his teeth.

"Alright let's go freshen up for bed." Steve brought him to the bathroom and wiped his teeth. He ran the bath and saw that Bucky was gone.

"How does he...? Bucky?" Steve walked around the apartment, Bucky really was good at hiding but Steve really wished he wouldn't do it at certain times.

Steve listened for any giggling or other movements but it was quiet. Expect for Harley's heavy breathing.

"I don't suppose you know where he is, do you?" As if she knew, Harley walked in the kitchen and pawed at the cabinet under the kitchen sink. Steve opened it sure enough Bucky was under there hiding.

"What are you doing under here and how did you get under here?" Bucky got out and put his arms around Steve, he was shaking. Did something scare him? Steve picked him up and brought him to the tub. Bucky was unusually quiet and it had Steve worried. Steve dried him off and brought him to bed.

"You're unusually quiet, baby, what's wrong?"

"Your name Steve."

"Yes it is."

"Mom name Sarah." Steve was frozen for a moment.

"You were sick a lot." Bucky crawled onto Steve's lap. Steve wasn't sure to be happy or a little freaked out.

"Okay, yeah that's true. Bucky, do you remember our promise to each other?"

"With you till end of the line." Steve nearly cried, the old Bucky was starting to come around and Steve hoped he would stay, but Bucky was still mentally unstable. So the possibility of him remembering any part of the conversation was very low. But Steve was glad he was starting to remember something.

Bucky fell asleep on Steve's lap, Steve let him stay there despite Bucky curling in on himself like a cat. Steve scratched his head, he did notice that Bucky's face was becoming more fuzzy with facial hair.

"You need a shave, baby boy. But I'm glad you're starting to remember. I'll always be with you till the end of the line." Steve fell asleep knowing things were starting to look better.


	10. Chapter 10

Today was kind of a big day for both Steve and Bucky. Steve was happy to hear any type of good news from Bruce about Bucky's recovery. And Bucky was just excited to see Rumlow again. 

"Hey, Bucky I know you're excited but can you at least let me get some shorts on you?" Bucky was being silly today and Steve didn't know if he was just over excited or he secretly had some type of sugar rush. And running around in just his diaper was funny but they needed to leave soon.

Steve held Bucky by his waist and got his shorts on. Bucky struggled out of his hold, Steve put a shirt on him then let him go.

"Are you really that excited to see Rumlow?"

"See birds." Bucky ignored his question and pointed to the flock of birds. 

"Bucky, come on we need to go." Steve tried to get him to sit down so he could put his shoes on, but he wouldn't stay still. Steve was glad he already brushed his teeth and brushed his hair after they ate.

"Okay, I guess we'll try for shoes later." Steve put on Harley's and Bucky's harness on and brought them to the car. Bucky would not settle down. He kicked at Steve's seat and scratched at the plastic. After five minutes in the car, the screaming started.

"Bucky, baby, please. What's wrong?" Harley tried to lay on his lap but he pushed her away. Now Steve was beginning to worry that something was wrong.

They arrived at the tower. Bucky was still having a fit and Steve was concerned so he asked Nat to help him.

"Bucky bear, what's wrong?" Asked Nat. He pointed to the lights in the room.

"Bucky, look at mommy." Bucky laughed and pointed to the doctors. Nat looked at his eyes, his pupils were different sizes. She noticed that Harley was whining a lot. 

"Let's go see Bruce." They walked to the medical lab. Bruce took one look at Bucky and immediately knew.

"He's about to have a seizure." Said Bruce. Steve tried to get Bucky to sit on the medical bed, but he couldn't stay still. He pointed to the lights above and babbled nonsense. Then he froze. 

"Here we go." Bucky collasped. Steve caught him and laid him on the ground. The seizure started, this was one of his bad ones. Harley laid on his legs. 

"How long has he been acting like that Steve?"

"Almost all morning. He couldn't stay still and he wasn't listening to me."

"So he's been having an aura for two hours or so?" Asked Bruce.

"A what?"

"Aura, kind of a warning sign before the seizure. It concerns me that it's lasted for so long."

"But Harley didn't alert to it." Said Steve.

"Probably because he's pushing her away." The seizure stopped short of three minutes. Bucky was still tense and twitching, Nat sat by him and stroked his face. Bucky started to growl.

"Last time he did that he almost came out." Said Steve. Nat nodded, she got a spider bite in her hand just in case. Bucky lifted his head up and looked around, his eyes landed on the door. 

"Bucky, look at mommy." Said Nat. She was about to touch his face when he bit her. She dropped the spider bite, Steve grabbed Bucky's hand, Bucky punched him. Now they were dealing with the soldier. Steve looked to Nat then to Bruce.

"I don't want to fight him."

"Does he look like he care?" No, he didn't. The soldier probably saw them as a threat more than anything. 

"I'll try to talk to him."

"Steve, the soldier isn't going to listen unless he is commanded. I got an idea. I need someone to send Rumlow to medical lab B, immediately." Said Nat. Steve looked at the soldier, why did he always look more of a scared child then someone's mindless puppet? 

Then the door opened. Rumlow appeared and looked at the situation.

"I'm guessing you want me to deal with him."

"He listens to you." Said Nat. Rumlow nodded and stepped in the soldier's line of sight. He relaxed but was still tense.

"Kid, do you recognize me?" He showed no emotion or recognition. Rumlow sighed, he didn't want to do this anymore.

"Soldier, sit." He commanded. The soldier flinched at the command but didn't obey.

"Are you listening to me? Sit down." He didn't, instead, he became violent quickly. He swung at Rumlow and Nat. Now, options were limited to just force. Steve couldn't bring himself to hit him, it would be like punching a two year old. Nat tried to hit him, but he dodged and kicked at her. Rumlow couldn't fight because of the handcuffs. The soldier still hit him. The soldier looked to Steve and Bruce.

"Bucky, please just stop." The soldier somehow got a scalpel. He pinned Steve against the wall, scalpel dangerously close to his throat. 

"Baby, please?" The soldier was breathing hard, Steve looked into his eyes. His emotionless eyes.

"Come back to daddy, please. I promised you I wouldn't let them take you away from me anymore. And I promised to be you till the end of the line." Something changed. The soldier dropped the scalpel and backed away from Steve. Steve slowly lifted his hand and scratched the soldier's head, in his favorite spot. The soldier relaxed, Steve got him to lay on the ground.

"Daddy?" 

"Hey, Bucky, how are you feeling?"

"Juice." Nat came over and handed him his cup of apple juice. 

"Mommy, owie?" He looked at her and at Steve, he was hurt too.

"Don't worry about it, we'll be okay. Look who's here?" Nat pointed to Rumlow. Bucky smiled, he tried to get up but his legs weren't working. He whined, Rumlow came to him. Nat took off the handcuffs. 

"Papa owie." Now he was a little suspicious. Why was three out the five people in the room hurt?

"I'm fine, kid. I've taken worse. You're going to call me papa now?" Bucky nodded. 

"Let's go sit on the bed, while mommy and daddy talk." Rumlow carried Bucky to the bed. Harley followed them and licked his hand. Steve sighed, this was bad.

"He's getting stronger. How are you going to control him?" Said Nat.

"I don't know. I don't want to fight him." 

"Steve, sometimes it can't be helped. His strength will eventually match yours and by the time you can stop him, you might be dead." 

"Unless I find a way to control the soldier. I've only seen him come out after seizures and even those are not as frequent as before." Steve sighed and looked at Bucky, who was playing with Rumlow's hands. How do you control an assassin in a two year old mindset?

"Didn't Rumlow have control over the soldier?" Asked Steve.

"He said he was able to get the soldier out only because of strong commands." Said Nat.

"If I may step in, seeing his brainwave activity for the last few days, I think Bucky has a split mindset with the soldier. Yesterday was the first day I've seen the activity actually resemble normal brain frequencies. What happened?" Said Bruce.

"He started to remember some small things from the past."

"I think what's happening is Bucky and the soldier have made a mental compromise. This mind space is their safe place, somewhere your Bucky can heal and where the soldier can learn to be human. So there might be times where your Bucky might come and babble about stuff from the past. But the Bucky we have now is a combination of both." Explained Bruce.

"So he'll never fully heal?"

"Unless we can somehow erase the soldier and insert memories from the past without causing him pain, he's not going to be fully your Bucky." Steve let that soak in, Bucky was there but not fully. Even if he managed to get Bucky to fully remember, the soldier would never leave.

"Steve, are you going to be okay?" Asked Natasha.

"Yeah, as long as he's happy and not in any pain, I can't complain. Besides if he feels safe being like this, I'm not going to take it away." Steve smiled then Bucky came over with Rumlow in hand and Harley following close by.

"Daddy, mommy look what papa made me." It was a glove filled with air. 

"Oh nice, hey about we let Bruce do a check up on you and the four of us maybe Sam too can go have a picnic?" Said Nat. Bucky smiled but pointed to Harley.

"Yes, she can come." Bucky clapped his hands. He climbed on Steve's lap and played with his ballon glove.

"Okay, Bucky, just a little check up. Can you open your mouth?" Said Bruce putting on a new set of gloves. There was no indication that he heard him since he was playing with the ballon glove.

"Baby, listen to Bruce or I'm taking it away." Bucky looked up at Steve then at Bruce.

"Can you open your mouth?" Said Bruce. Bucky opened his mouth, Bruce took a quick look then nodded.

"Thank you. Is he drooling more?" Asked Bruce.

"Yeah he is, mainly when food is being prepared."

"Right, well his teeth look good. Maybe in a few days introduce toothpaste. Bucky, can I look at your ears?" Bruce held up the tool, Bucky glared at it.

"That's a no. How about I listen to your heart and lungs?" Bruce brought out a stethoscope, Bucky didn't seem to care. Bruce put the stethoscope on his chest.

"Cold."

"Sorry, kid. You're doing good." He moved to his back.

"Alright, everything sounds good. Can we get you on a scale?" Bucky didn't know what that was. Steve helped him stand up, they went to a metal platform.

"What that?" Asked Bucky.

"It's going to see how much you weigh. Can you stand on it?" Bucky stood on it, it didn't look scary.

"169 pounds. Not bad."

"Not bad? The kid is still underweight, when he was with us he was at least 230." Said Rumlow.

"And more than half of that was just toned muscle. Nobody's looking for him gain all the muscle he used to have. He's not going to be fighting anyone. Plus his stomach can only handle so much." Said Steve. Bucky made grabby hands at Steve so he picked him up.

"You baby him too much." 

"Papa." He made grabby hands at him. Steve passed him to Rumlow, Bucky put his head on Rumlow's shoulder and put his thumb in his mouth.

"How can you not baby him?" Said Nat.

"You're ruining my tough guy personality kid." Bucky was about to fall asleep, they were cutting into his nap time. 

"I'll take him back." Said Steve. 

"No, we're okay. Just need a place to lay down." Steve, honestly, didn't want Bucky to sleep with Rumlow because Bucky might want to do it again. But Bucky was just too comfortable to leave Rumlow.

"We got a room upstairs where you two can lay down. You try to pull anything, you can forget about seeing or hearing anything from him." Said Nat in a calm, but serious tone. Rumlow rolled his eyes and followed her upstairs.

Steve stayed with Bruce to decide a few things about Bucky's life. Nat came back and sighed.

"He must have been tired, he's knocked out. What's going on?"

"You don't think he'll ever go on missions, do you?" Asked Steve.

"Not unless Bucky can combine his skills with the soldiers and not fall into that mindset, then no. Neither of them are stable enough to hold a gun and act rationally. The soldier acts on an impulse and commands and nobody is going to be with him all the time during the mission." Said Nat. That was a hard pill to swallow, Steve wanted to have Bucky in the field, fighting along side him like in the old days, but Bucky wasn't stable enough to be by himself at all.

"I don't want him to be gaining unnecessary weight, maybe once his diet improves we can start small exercises." Said Steve. Bruce nodded. They continued to talk, even Sam appeared. They were all happy that Bucky was recovering, while there were somethings that Steve was going to have to adjust to while dealing with Bucky, his love would never change.

"Hey, Steve you mentioned earlier in the week that you had a plan, what was it?" Asked Sam.

"I've been searching for old pictures from our past. I found one of his family and one of us before I got the serum, I wanted to show him so he could have something to remember."  Said Steve. Nat rubbed his back, Steve was taking one emotional hit after another. Then her phone buzzed.

"Bucky's up, how about you go get them and I'll get the food for the picnic?" Steve nodded. He walked to the second floor and went to the room Bucky was napping in. Bucky was laughing while Rumlow tickled him. He saw Steve and reached for him.

"Daddy save me!" Steve smiled and got Bucky away from the tickle monster.

"How did you sleep?"

"Good, papa snores."

"I do not, you snore you pig." Said Rumlow. Bucky stuck his tongue out and laughed. 

"Rumlow, in case I, Nat and Sam has to go on a mission, would you watch him?"

"Of course, just send over some food and whatever else he needs. I'm surprised you haven't ask your other avenger buddies."

"He hasn't met them. He's met Bruce, but Bucky requires too much care for him. Stark and Thor have too much energy for him and Clint has his own kids to worry about." Rumlow nodded. Steve changed Bucky and gave him his juice. 

"Hydra is still out there and they'll look for him. And whatever they do could be permanent." Said Rumlow.

"I would rather die a slow death than let anyone on this Earth hurt him again. He's been through far too much in his life and I will do anything to ensure he lives a happy life." Steve stroked his hair, Bucky smiled around his cup. Then Nat came.

"If you two aren't tickling the poor child to death, we can start the picnic." Said Nat. The group left the tower, they made it to the park. Steve, Sam and Nat went to a local store to get foods that's easy on Bucky's stomach. Rumlow let Bucky and Harley play for a while to burn some energy. Bucky found a ball in the grass, he didn't know what to do.

"Hey that's our ball." Said some guy. Bucky looked at him, he dropped the ball on the ground. Then the guy pushed Bucky to the ground. 

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Said the man.

"I should be asking you the same thing." Said Rumlow. 

"He stole my ball."

"He was looking at it, that doesn't give you the right to push him. Now go away before I decide to hurt you." The guy shrugged his shoulders and walked away. Rumlow went to Bucky, who was very close to crying.

"You're okay, he's just being a bully. Come here." Rumlow carried Bucky back to the towel. He wiped his tears and played with his hair. Steve, Sam and Nat came back. Steve noticed Bucky had been crying.

"What happened?"

"He was playing with the dog and he found a ball in the grass. Then some guy came and demanded the ball from him, he dropped it and the guy pushed him to the ground."

"Excuse me, someone pushed him down? Oh no, where did he go?" Said Steve becoming protective.

"I know I want to hurt him too, get in line."

"I should be first, I'm his dad."

"Yeah but he loved me first." Steve's mouth dropped open. Nat held back a chuckle.

"You guys argue like a married couple, are you going to sue each other for custody of him?" Said Sam. Everyone laughed, expect Bucky. He did smile, but he was confused. He crawled onto Steve's lap and pointed to the bag.

"You must be hungry. They didn't have much around here so I got you yogurt." Steve opened the pack and fed Bucky. Everyone laughed and joked around a bit. Rumlow gave Harley a few pieces of meat from his sandwich.

"It's so good to have real food." Said Rumlow. Bucky pointed to him then at Steve.

"Swallow then talk." Said Steve. Bucky moved the yogurt to his throat then said.

"Papa love daddy." Rumlow choked on his sandwich. Steve was frozen, where did that come from?

"Bucky, why did you say that?"

"True?"

"Not true."

"Yeah I hate...." Steve side eyed him.

"I do not love him."

"Like?" Rumlow looked at Steve and shrugged.

"Yeah I like him, you happy?" Bucky smiled and patted his head. Steve scratched his ear, Bucky got up and tugged on his arm.

"Play, please?" Who could deny his big blue eyes? Bucky ran from Steve, Bucky was surprisingly fast despite his condition. He fell a few times but got back up until he fell but didn't get up.

"You're okay, Bucky, get up." Bucky's arm was shaking. Steve sat in front of him, his eyes were twitching then he smiled.

"A tiny seizure, you alright?"

"Play?"

"I think we've had enough play time. We need to head home and get ready for bed." It was getting dark, they were lucky enough that Harley was able to do her business in the park. Bucky yawned.

"Yeah you're tired. Say goodbye to everyone." 

"No papa come."

"I can't baby, I'll see you later. I love you." Rumlow kissed his head, Nat kissed Bucky's cheek and left with Rumlow. 

"I'll help you bring him home." Said Sam. Steve carried Bucky back to their apartment. Sam opened the door for them and said goodbye to them.

"Bucky, I need you to stay awake for at least 10 minutes." Bucky opened his eyes, Steve got him to take his pills and gave Harley a little bit of her dinner. Steve bathed Bucky and brought him to their room.

"Bucky, look at these." Steve laid out the pictures in front of him.

"Do you know who these people are?" Bucky stared at the picture of his family. He pointed to the man.

"He's your dad. Your real dad and that's your mom. That's your sister.."

"Becca." He said quietly. Steve smiled sadly at him, maybe he would remember more once he found more pictures.

"Can you guess who this is?" Bucky looked at the picture of preserum Steve. Why did he look so familiar?

"That daddy?"

"Yeah, that was when I joined the army." Bucky looked up to Steve and smiled.

"You punk, I told you no." There was his Bucky. Steve hugged him and sighed.

"I'm happy to live this life with you buddy, I love you so much." Bucky's eyes were closing, Steve kissed his head and tucked him in.

"Love daddy till the end of the line." Bucky fell asleep, he made sure that his back was touching his chest. Steve silently cried in his hair. Bucky was going to be okay, they were going to be okay. Bucky was doing better than when he first arrived. He gained physical and mental strength, he still had a long road of healing. Steve would always be there for him whenever he needed him. Steve kissed his head one more time and whispered to him.

"I love you too pal, till the end of the line."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. (Not really). Thank you so much to everyone who has followed daddy steve and our two year old Bucky this far. There will be more of our favorite pair, I promise. I am open for ideas for any asset stories. Upcoming stories: The asset and the outside world, The asset and the haircut. 
> 
> Again, thank you reading. There is more to come shortly.🙂
> 
> *Some upcoming stories will be mainly deal with Bucky's introduction to new people and his emotions :)


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